Anger is a very human emotion. What matters is when, how and with what intensity the anger is experienced. It is a part of the human emotional system because just as a person sees, hears, gets sad or happy, he gets angry in the same way. Anger varies from person to person; The way anger is experienced can vary depending on many factors such as gender, age, education level, personality structure.
Anger is generally experienced as a 'secondary emotion'. Psychologist Dr. Thomas Gordon compares anger to an iceberg. As it is known, most of the iceberg remains under water and is not visible; The smaller visible part is above the water. The anger experienced by a person is only the tip of the iceberg, and it indicates that the remaining large part contains secondary emotions underlying the emotion of anger. When these hidden emotions under water accumulate, harden and solidify, they form the anger at the top of the iceberg. In an other saying; What causes a person to become angry is often other emotions that he or she does not realize. For example, sadness, curiosity, jealousy, guilt, loneliness, not being understood, helplessness, not being cared for, being treated unfairly, etc. In order to succeed in eliminating the sources of anger, these secondary emotions under the iceberg must be understood.
Anger management is not about not getting angry, it is about being able to experience our anger appropriately. The main goal in anger management is; To be able to maintain a balance between not being victimized and not being victimized.
Focusing on the Real Sources of Anger:
In anger control, the factors that cause this emotion to be felt. It is very important to notice. It would be very useful for the angry person to ask himself the following questions:
1-How do I experience my anger?
-What emotions am I affected by when I get angry?
-What kind of thoughts go through my mind when I get angry?
-What happens in my body when I get angry?
2-In what situations do I get angry?
-What are the situations that create anger?
3-What does it mean for me to get angry?
-The meaning of anger is discussed, it can mean something different for everyone.
4-What are the positive or negative consequences of getting angry in this way? What's happening?
-Results are a personal asset A result that will be painful for you may mean victory for the other person.
The basic emotions underlying the anger should be recognized and when the primary emotions are discovered, healthier ways to deal with them should be found. For example, the primary emotion that makes a person angry may be being treated unfairly. more functional ways to assert one's rights in such a situation; openly demanding, setting limits on the other person, etc. must be discovered and used. The aim is to soften the reactions of the angry person and to provide the person with non-aggressive, non-violent communication skills.
Read: 0
