The ability of the person you communicate with to understand and feel you will not only strengthen the bond between you; It also increases the impressiveness and credibility of your words. So you want to see that person more because you feel safe and good. So, how can you increase the quality of your relationships with empathic communication, which is another expression of being understood cognitively and emotionally?
First of all, the feeling of being understood in relationships should not be confused with sympathy. You cannot heal the wounds of a crying friend by saying "such things happen, it will pass one day"; On the contrary, you may be activating the feelings of "I cannot be understood" or "I am so worthless" in the person. Or you may be lost in your friend's pain and left completely without a solution. However, both feeling or being felt; and feelings of understanding or being understood form the backbone of your relationships. For example, if the mother comments to a child who comes home upset and says "my friend hurt my arm today" such as "maybe it happened unintentionally" - even though the aim is to console her child - the child does not want to relax, but experiences a more negative emotional state and goes on from there. It may cause him to not be able to separate and perhaps not be able to share intimate relations with his mother again. However, instead of making such a comment, it will be enough for good empathy for your child to summarize the event and describe his/her feelings by saying "You are hurting and you are angry at your friend." When you speak to their thoughts in a way that makes them say "that's exactly it", you will be able to continue your relationship with the happiness of being able to catch the right frequency.
Open-ended questions such as "Why", "Why", "How" are also an important part of empathic language. Because such questions raise awareness about events and situations. For example, if you ask the person who tells you that something bad happened to them, "How did it happen?" caused?" When you ask questions like these, you will create awareness in the other person; If there are details he missed or could not see, he will be able to see them; He/she will be able to recover more easily.
Finally, the good behavior of the other party in your empathic relationships. reflections you will make about; In other words, sharing the beauties you observe in a person and making them feel that they are essentially a good person will increase the trust, sincerity and affection in your relationships…
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