People love those whose wounds match their wounds.


How beautifully said Assoc. In the foreword of the book Cebrail Short Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy:
"Humans love those who come across their wounds." I believe that they can live better together because they know how to heal each other's wounds."
These words of Kısa reminded me of the words of my teacher Mehmet Zararsızoğlu: "The unconscious sees the unconscious." says Mehmet Zararsızoğlu.
We are unconsciously attracted to a lover... most of the time we are connected with an unconscious bond... without even knowing what attracts us from him/her... without even thinking about what we are attracted to.
…and as Kısa also stated. Like maybe our wound sees its wound…  our heart sees the pain in its heart… and only that heart that experiences the same pain understands the weight of the other heart… only those who experience that pain understand the pain of the other heart.
Of course, if it can look at the wound in its own heart… if it can face the pain in its own heart. …if he dares to heal his own wound. ..only then can a person be a balm for the lover's wound... only then... only then can he be transformative, in that relationship...  only then can he give life to that love first. A person loves what can be a balm for his wounds, even if he is unaware of it.

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