New concepts entered our lives with the movie "Issız Adam", which entered our lives in 2008; deserted men, deserted women, deserted man syndromes... This should not be surprising; Because while cinema affects society, it is also affected by society, that is, its relationship with society is two-way. Cinema deals with the reality of social life from different perspectives and does this by enabling it to come to life in different disciplines.
When we came to the movie Issız Adam, when I did research on the literature, it was not surprising to come across research and articles about this movie and its subject. There are studies on this film in terms of psychoanalysis, attachment theories, and reality therapy. In this article, I will evaluate the movie Issız Adam through Individual Belief Systems.
We can state that there are two conditions to talk about closeness/sincerity between two people. While in the concept of intimacy, each individual must satisfy their mutual need for closeness; Exceptionality is sufficient to satisfy individual growth and development. In other words, there is a need for individuality as well as the need for closeness in a relationship, and a relationship in which both of these exist together is healthy.
When we come to our movie, we see that Alper, one of the leading actors, generally has daily relationships based on sexuality and does not allow women into his private sphere. We can easily say that he has difficulty maintaining a close/intimate relationship. We don't know what happened before, but let's continue assuming that he continued like this until he met Ada, with whom he had a close relationship in the movie. After meeting Ada, he takes her into his life and a relationship pattern that is closer and more inclusive than the relationships he had before emerges. We can also say that this situation challenges him from time to time. The fact that Ada went out one night while he was staying with him, went to the prostitute he had sought out for sexual intercourse in the past, and returned home without going in, helps us understand the double bind he is going through. We can say that after her mother came to her, Ada and her mother's sincerity first made both her mother and Alper feel relaxed. This situation then activates Alper's individual belief systems and causes him to end the relationship. is happening. At the end of the film, we can see Alper's regret and the weight of the residue of a life he missed that he will live with for a lifetime. So, is this situation of being a lonely man or woman an arbitrary situation, or do they really establish such relationships because no other way is possible?
The capacity to keep close or separate in closeness/intimacy depends on early positive interactions with the first caregivers. Extensive information about connection was given in my previous article. We can explain the relationship between attachment and individual belief systems as follows: People who have had a positive attachment experience have developed a positive individual belief system, and since they still establish a relationship with this system, they maintain their positive relationships by contributing to these belief systems. On the other hand, people who have had negative attachment experiences engage in further negative interactions, which further influence the formation of negative individual belief systems. So this is an unfortunate situation where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. When parents and children are observed together, we can see how these individual belief systems generalize. After the individual reaches adulthood, these beliefs become a bulwark for them and become a part of their defense organization. It would be incomplete information to say that this situation is fed only from childhood. Sometimes this can be generalized from a life event, or it can be developed to cope with a traumatic life event. Since the past experiences of our hero are not included in the film, we do not know its source.
In the film, we can say that Alper has beliefs that lead to his fears of being too close. I can say that one side of this is the fear that if I get too close, I will be hurt/harmed, while the other side is the fear that I will hurt or harm if I get too close. It seems that the most dominant individual belief system in this movie character is the fear that if I get too close, I will lose my identity and sense of self. These individuals have not been very successful in the separation/individuation phase of development. Additionally, experiencing pain and hurt in relationships with others important to oneself may have led the person to develop these beliefs.
So what can be done?
The person with these individual beliefs The relationships established by; There may be relationships that can confirm the belief that leads to alienation, conflict or unhappiness; He or she may also have relationships that do not confirm their beliefs, which may lead to closeness, successful conflict resolution, and happiness. The important thing here is that the person is equipped to establish relationships that will not confirm his or her negative beliefs. In the movie, we see that Alper comes very close to this, but his individual belief systems prevail and they become the winners of the double bind. Regarding this, the therapist's role is to interrupt the verification interaction of the negative belief, the behavior that will confirm the negative belief, and to prevent the generalization of these negative beliefs. The most important thing here is to explain to the client the reason and background of this belief; It is to study the background features that enable the client to maintain this belief.
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