February 14, Valentine's Day, is known as the day when shopping is the busiest and rose sales boom all over the world. Couples make expectations days in advance. What if we say that Valentine's Day can ruin your relationship?
Its origins are in the Roman Empire, when a priest named St. Valentine secretly married lovers despite the ban of Emperor Claudius II. It began to be celebrated widely in the 1800s, after American Esther Howland sent the first Valentine's Day card.
So, how did February 14 turn into a global shopping frenzy today, from sending innocent cards expressing your love to your lover? Although it is a cliché, we must accept the fact that "buying gifts is a necessity that capitalism imposes on us."
Since the first days of February, we see Valentine's Day advertisements wherever we look. Especially with the increase in the use of social media, much more is expected from the parties than roses and chocolates.
Valentine's Day advertisements; Beyond fueling consumption frenzy, it also brings about social corruption as it emphasizes that human emotions such as love are measured by the size of the gift.
Studies have shown that the breakup rate of couples is high on Valentine's Day and afterwards. So why does a day meant to celebrate the relationship, on the contrary, lead to a breakup?
Expectations
For many, Valentine's Day is a celebration of gifts, special meals, romance It comes with a host of expectations, including holidays and surprises. However, when these high expectations are not realized, disappointments become great.
Not giving enough importance to Valentine's Day is perceived as indifference towards the relationship and the lover.
Relationships that start with high financial and romantic expectations are more realistic. Disappointment and couple incompatibility are seen at a higher rate compared to relationships that start with expectations.
Comparisons
Valentine's Day-related gifts, meals, concerts or event plans are social Comparisons in relationships are inevitable as they are shared and talked about in the media.
People share their own comments on their social media accounts. He tends to make his celebrations seem more perfect than they are by glorifying and embellishing them. Seeing our friends and the celebrities we follow on social media having a “wonderful Valentine's Day”; No matter how fun and satisfying it is, it causes dissatisfaction with the way we celebrate.
Don't overdo it
For relationships that are already on the rocks, Valentine's Day is a time when problems are revealed and It may even be a day that makes the current situation worse. Valentine's Day expectations are not only indicative of a perfect night, but also of a “perfect” relationship. These perfectionist attitudes lead to a more exaggerated perception of existing problems and increased dissatisfaction. Or, the pressure to celebrate may exacerbate negative feelings about an already broken relationship.
There is another big problem on Valentine's Day: Celebrating our love in an exaggerated way on just one special day, and feelings such as gratitude and appreciation that will improve the relationship in the remaining days. It causes us to suppress. Sometimes, flashy dinners and gifts can be used to cover up chronic problems in the relationship.
Instead of celebrating our relationship on February 14, it is best to pay due attention to our loved ones and our relationship throughout the year.
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