Parents may encounter many problems during their children's developmental years. One of the problems that can be given as an example of these problems is the problem of holding poop. The source of this problem, which seems like a physiological problem, may be a physiological reason or a psychological reason.
This problem is usually seen between the ages of 2-4. During this period, the child experiences separation by realizing that he can do things independently of the first parent. He realizes that making or holding the toilet is in his hands, and controlling this process is now in his hands. This period is perhaps seen as the most challenging period for many parents. Because the child may exhibit problematic behaviors such as not giving up the poop or leaving it in an unusual place. In this age range, known as the anal period, the child stops using the toilet in his diaper and begins to receive toilet training. The child may give us some signals that show that he is ready. For example, by going to the toilet behind a door, in a place where no one is around, or hiding behind a sofa, he can show us that he is ready for toilet training. However, despite these signals, the child may still not be psychologically ready for toilet training. Sometimes, there may be no signal from the child to start toilet training. This is why parents may be undecided about whether to start toilet training or not. Education should be given at a time when the child is developmentally and psychologically ready.
The reasons for holding poop may be due to some physiological reasons (such as constipation or bowel and anus problems) as well as some psychological reasons. It should be taken to a doctor first to know if there is a physiological cause. If it is seen during toilet training, that is, when it is normally able to go to the diaper, but now it starts when it is necessary to go to the toilet, this behavior should be considered and the parental attitude. Toilet habit is a very important process. This problem may arise when the child is not developmentally ready. Therefore, when a very insistent attitude is displayed towards the child, a problem of not being able to poop may appear. Here, the child cannot use the toilet either because he is afraid of the smell of his poop or because he is afraid of himself, the toilet, the sound of the flush, or the fear that he will fall into the toilet. If the child is trying to be trained with an overly insistent, harsh and strict discipline, the child may not want to poop in order to give a message that I am in control of this, whether I can do it or not. Or, when the child misses the poop, he/she may want to get angry with him/her, scold him/her, tell him/her that he/she is dirty, and then hold his/her poop thinking that he/she shouldn't do anything dirty so that they won't be angry with me. It is therefore important for parents to be very patient, understanding and non-insistent when teaching toilet habits. During the anal period, the child thinks that his poop is a part of himself and can hold it in because he does not want it to break away from him. Sometimes, the child may choose not to poop because he cannot tolerate the feeling of pooping. In addition to all these, it is also necessary to pay attention to whether there is any sexual or physical abuse.
Parents must first be patient when dealing with this problem. Even though they do not like this situation, they should be patient with their children and not show that they are uncomfortable with this process. They shouldn't talk about it too much. Every person has a different toilet habit. They should be careful about this because the child poops on his own request, not on their request. You can help your child understand the importance of pooping by reading age-appropriate books or watching videos about this process. The child should not be punished for not pooping, but a reward system can be created for the child to reinforce this behavior when he does. The child's diet can be adjusted. While more liquid foods and fiber foods are preferred, foods that may cause constipation can be avoided. A toilet-going routine can be established for the child. Again, without boring him too much, creating routines for the child at certain times of the day, such as after waking up, after eating, before going to bed, can help him control his anal muscles.
Despite all this, if your child still has this problem, a specialist should be consulted.
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