Recent scientific research has begun to show that the effects of trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next. This “inheritance” is the subject of hereditary family traumas, as they are known. In this article, we will examine the "inheritances" we received in our family, the sources of these inheritances, how they were passed down to us, and how they can be resolved when we are uncomfortable and how they can have less impact on our daily lives.
Your history with your family begins before your mother became pregnant with you; It is a known fact today that three generations share the same biological environment. According to Lipton, a mother's emotions; It can also biologically change the genetic expressions of its children, such as fear, anger, love and hope. We know that chronic or recurring emotions such as anger and fear can affect the child starting from pregnancy, but the information obtained through new research shows that these emotions can also leave a genetic mark on the child.
After studies in mice showed that stress can be transmitted through at least three generations, it is predicted that a traumatic or stressful event in humans is likely to transmit this pattern not only to their children but also to their grandchildren. In fact, it is not just about what we inherit from our parents, but also the kind of parenting they do, which affects our relationships with our partners, ourselves, and how we raise our children. Whether good or bad, parents tend to pass on the parenting they received. In fact, since how we are parented has an impact on the formation of our attachment styles, this pattern continues in the close relationships we establish later. Its effects even extend to how we parent our own children. Of course, unless we realize this and take steps for change...
Jung says that whatever is not conscious will be experienced as fate. In other words, we are likely to continue repeating subconscious patterns unless we bring them into the light of awareness. Both Jung and Freud stated that whatever is difficult to process does not disappear on its own, but is rather stored in the subconscious. Nothing is lost; only the pieces change direction.
My family When individuals on the trail experience unbearable trauma and feel guilt and grief, the perceived emotions can be very intense and go beyond what they can control or resolve. This is human nature; When the pain is too great, people try to escape from it. But when we block our emotions, we unknowingly hinder the necessary healing process that can naturally lead us to release. Sometimes the pain remains hidden until it finds a way to express itself or be resolved. These expressions are often found in the next generation and may surface as symptoms that are difficult to explain. Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says, “The mind is like binding tape for negative memories and like teflon for positive ones.” he said.
At this point, I think it is necessary to look at the concept of psychogenealogy: Psychogenealogy is a technique and a science; It is a method that allows us to understand our spiritual heritage, use it in the best way and transform it if necessary. Firstly, it is about coming to terms with the past, but also about collecting nectar from the family garden so that he can make his own honey.
Participating in clinical psychogenealogy from the client's perspective; The suitcases he brought from his past and kept closed in order to overcome the damage caused by the traumas he experienced, the after-effects of a bad family history, its consequences, possible effects, wounds, mistakes, mistakes, shame, guilt, regrets, losses, mourning, secrets, unspoken things and similar things. is to open.
The things that are passed down from generation to generation and remain unresolved are not only "sins", mistakes and misdemeanors, but also striking, even happy events. No matter how, every individual is registered in a certain lineage chain. And line of descent also means common ancestors, inheritance and transmission. We inherit from our ancestors the color of our eyes, the quality of our hair and skin, a body prone to disease or health, sometimes our musical or artistic talents, but sometimes our anxieties.
People have always lived in crowded groups and tribes since the ice age. Our first reflexes are to fit in with the group and “do like everyone else”, while the exceptions are It does not break the saying. Something within us drives us to “defend” our family and its way of thinking and living, to reproduce the family's behavioral patterns (conscious or subconscious family loyalty) even if our conscious desires want to do otherwise. Even if we do the opposite of what was done to distinguish ourselves from others, we are renewing the form of rebellion of our past ancestors; Instead of choosing and acting, we oppose, which brings not liberation from the parents but dependence on them through opposition.
As with all inheritances, everyone inherits a wide variety of emotions and items: good things, bad things, dangerous things, a lot of things we don't know what to do with. “Right or wrong, mycountry” Family is my family, I accept it because I can't change my past. But by “studying” my family history, I can distance myself from it and take control of life, my own life. So, an important question arises here: HOW?
Doidge radically changed our belief in how the human brain works by defining it as something flexible and capable of change, from the approach that sees the human brain as fixed and unchangeable. His studies have shown how new experiences can create new neural pathways. These new neural pathways can strengthen with repetition and deepen with focused attention. In essence, the more we practice something, the more we train our brain for change.
Practicing a new skill, under the right conditions, can change hundreds of millions, and possibly billions, of connections between neurons in our brain maps. With new thoughts, new emotions, new perceptions, and a new brain map in place, we begin to create inner experiences of well-being that begin to deal with our old trauma responses and their power to lead us astray. In other words, the artificial change that occurs with experience penetrates deep into the brain and even genes and shapes them. Rachel Yehuda says; “You cannot change your DNA, but you can change the way your DNA works. In a sense, it is the same thing.”
The whole is something other than the sum of its parts. Everything is in a semi-stable balance. So things, relationships Whatever objects are permanent if we take care of them. Very little is enough to achieve a change because everything is in the balance of forces. All it takes is adding or subtracting a small factor to throw things out of balance and change them.
If you think that you are constantly repeating yourself at some points, if you have difficulty getting out of the patterns in your family, if you choose a partner "just like your mother", "like your father" or vice versa, but at the same time you are uncomfortable with this, you suddenly experience a situation that you cannot understand why. If you have noticed that you have entered the mood, you may be experiencing the consequences and continuation of the intergenerational transition at these points. In order to make a distinction on this issue, you can look at the books I have given in the sources below or read other sources. As your level of awareness increases, you will be able to move towards a different point on this issue. If you are aware of many issues but have trouble taking action, or if you feel that you are not yet at the point you want in terms of awareness, you can do this work with a therapist. The solutions to our problems can sometimes be found in places we don't look for; Working with an expert who can work with you on this issue can illuminate these blind spots and help you break the chain that you have been a chain of for a long time without realizing it.
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