Every human relationship is a power relationship. Why do people step on their feet during marriage? Who will have the say?
Do you suffer from drudgery? Have you been subjected to scolding or humiliation? Blackmail from your loved ones? The person in front of you could be your mother, your wife, your boss, or even your child. He may always want to be right and dominant. He may even want to put you in the mood he likes. It takes away your will, your joy of life, your self-confidence and self-esteem, and even your future. He criticizes you by implication. “Girl, I'm telling you; Like "my bride, you understand"...
Those who love you do not notice this situation. For example, they say that your spouse is a wonderful person and that you are making a big deal about the situation. You become confused. You doubt yourself, think of yourself as jealous, incompetent, and bad-hearted for a long time... Our ancestors said "The outside burns you, the inside burns me" or "good hands" for a long time.
Over a long time, the people around you are like you. Did they start to drift away or did you find yourself becoming isolated and isolated from them?
The manipulator treats you differently at home and differently outside. Your spouse is one thing in the bedroom and another in the dining room; He behaves differently around his own family and differently around your family.
In the narcissistic pervert, evil and cruelty are also seen in sexual areas. He has many masks. In the beginning, she is a very gentle, private seducer. The inner and outer wealth of the other person can make him/her seem like a loyal person for years. Whenever he destroys all the wealth of those around him, he crushes them like a cockroach. The pain of rich people who go bankrupt is doubled if there is a narcissist in their close circle.
Today, "individualism" has increased so much that every young person has turned into an exaggerated narcissist who hurts the other. In the age of consumption, just as goods are consumed, people consume each other's hopes and throw them aside. A trauma victim becomes the traumatizing aggressor in another relationship. Thus, social erosion continues to increase and if no precautions are taken against this situation, the institution of marriage will continue to suffer.
The seduction period is short, the initiation of the relationship is quick, the divorce is at jet speed...
Children of pathological couples have a warm house. as much as possible because they perceive it as hell, not home. They go the farthest.
The cruelty and consumerism in relationships were even reflected in the lyrics. The lyrics that say "Love does not mean agreeing, love is loved without a reason" have long been forgotten. Songs that deceive with the slogan "It won't hurt, it won't hurt, come on" have become fashionable. Love is not about accepting the other person as they are. If you accept the other person and constantly "adapt", you will burn out. Adaptation and patience may be short-lived. In a long-term relationship, there should be "compromise and exchange". A person who constantly adapts and sacrifices in relationships may lose the joy of life and self-esteem.
Manipulation between spouses may also occur under the mask of excessive helpfulness and doting. It can hurt you by making itself indispensable. He can blackmail you with his service. Such a person could also be your babysitter.
Seeking personal satisfaction by only using other people will result in unhappiness for both parties. If we don't give anyone the task of being the architect of our happiness and success, we reduce the possibility of emotional abuse.
Conflict, if used correctly, strengthens the relationship. Occasional small waterfalls clean the dirt accumulated in the still-flowing river and throw it aside. Conflict is the same way, it cleanses the relationship. It is not right to keep silent all the time for fear that the relationship will disappear.
For example: A woman who grew up as an orphan and established a master-slave relationship by telling a narcissist husband, "If you leave me, I will die," left her husband five or six years later, as if she were running away. The narcissist mobilizes you by criticizing you, and if he captures your feeling of guilt, he will use it for life. At the end of a relationship, people's souls hurt more than their bodies, and antidepressants do not cure this pain.
The narcissist also motivates you by flattering you. Your self-confidence should not depend on someone else's approval. If you do not make your love for children conditional, you will protect them from becoming victims of the narcissist in the future. Narcissists are shy. They sacrifice dependent and indecisive people to themselves.
Narcissists lie very well. If his lie is discovered, he will deny it with such arrogance that you will remain silent. For example: The narcissist, who does not have any documents other than his Military Academy diploma, has been telling everyone around him for thirty years that he is an ITU engineering graduate. The last person he said was really When he became an engineer from ITU, his wife was very scared and ashamed, and the engineer from ITU accepted the situation as true without questioning. Later, when his wife said, "You are not an engineer," he responded with such shouting and insults that the issue was closed forever.
The narcissist invades his wife's entire social circle. In the presence of his wife's strong and characterful relatives, he behaves abnormally well in order to justify himself and be well-intentioned. For example: His rich, powerful brother was telling his sister that she should keep her financial resources and not give them to her husband. He was trying to explain that his relationship with his blonde employee was very different from the boss-employee level. Sensing this, the narcissist husband managed to silence the two siblings for years by wearing the huge jade necklace he bought for his wife for their anniversary, at his brother's workplace, kissing and smelling it. During these years, he had seized all of his wife's wealth, declared the blonde next to him as his future wife, and then threw her aside like a pulp and trampled her. Narcissists must have said the saying, "A chicken is never spared where there is a goose."
The narcissist answers and decides on behalf of his/her spouse. For example: He always works, he doesn't eat... and the victim feels ashamed or cannot eat even if he has food because of fear. Even if he does, the narcissist will make him give up so much. The narcissist can isolate his partner from the rest of the world, make him quit his job, and prevent him from rising. In the beginning, she always does this in the name of good intentions
The narcissist mother, on the other hand, can divorce her son, prevent her daughter from getting married, find faults in the groom-to-be without her daughter opening her mouth, and do this so skillfully...
Your spouse is anti-social. If it is one, everyone will understand or warn you. You will get help more easily. If your narcissist is your spouse, you will be oppressed and you will receive criticism, not help, from your relatives.
If your spouse is dead, all common sense people will be a salve for your wound. If your narcissistic spouse has cheated on you, almost all your relatives will criticize you. (You didn't adorn yourself... You adorned her too much... You honored and spoiled her very much... If you had made her jealous... You shouldn't have told her that you were faithful...)
The only thing the narcissist needs is the reward or approval he expects from his mother, who is too busy to pay attention to him. Children's family's encouragement and encouragement for motivation While he needs guidance, the narcissist was deprived of this as a child. Although analytical theories say so, my personal experience is that the genetic transmission is very high.
He connects you with warmth and helpfulness, then disappears and knows how to make you dependent on himself by creating deficiency. Initially, it numbs its target by enchanting it and takes its mind away. His anger when his demands are not met will hurt you deeply. The narcissist undermines the victim's self-confidence by insidiously underlining his shortcomings. For example: When my mother-in-law, whom I visited during the holidays, hugged me around my waist in a way that hurt me, squeezed me, and said, "Thank God, you are healed," she meant, "You have gained weight." My hungry stomach was filled with these words at breakfast.
The narcissist not only damages your self-confidence, but also underlines the negative aspects of your friends, alienates you from them and leaves you alone and powerless. Then he tries to get on top of you by saying, "You can't get along with anyone, why should you get along with me?" It shows them by underlining your weak side. For example: While his wife is away, he takes images of the messiest state of the house on camera and sends it to his mother and mother-in-law.
In summary, the Narcissist alienates his victim from his loved ones, his loved ones, and even from his own essence. “How is this me?” You keep asking questions to yourself.
Therefore, do not humiliate the victim, try to understand. For the narcissist, others are objects, not subjects. A normal person cannot even think about this.
Every person has shortcomings, shortcomings, inadequacies and weaknesses. There is no person who does not have large and small cracks in his soul. The narcissistic pervert is very adept at finding these cracks and sneaking in through them. Even if you were a rock, it would carve you. You cannot even predict what the narcissist, whose loyalty you think you have received by giving everything you have, can do when you resist... Blackmail and threats are also directed at your children and property. He can sacrifice anything, including you. You may remain silent for a lifetime out of concern that you will sacrifice your children, your reputation, and your economy. If he has prepared his next future victim, he will let you go.
The narcissist will let you go. The seduction phase is so pleasant; The victim keeps waiting for a lifetime for those days to come back again... The narcissist can never come to direct and open communication. Once you become silent, you find yourself talking over and over because you cannot stand the sound of silence, and you are forced to open yourself up too much. Meanwhile, he has identified many of your cracks to be used later.
Lying is an ordinary thing for the narcissist. He lies a lot except to gain or hide something. To boast, to boast, to sow discord among people... The narcissist's lies are more than the psychopath's and they surprise even them. Remember, the narcissist has no emotional empathy and does not suffer. Your emotional and verbal retaliation won't do much good.
Read: 0
