Children need their parents' guidance from an early age because they do not know what is useful and important for them. Therefore, parents should guide their children both in early childhood and adolescence and make the environment they live in safe for a healthy personality development. Therefore, parents should protect their teenage children by setting some rules and limits and raise them in accordance with the rules of society.
If effective discipline cannot be achieved in a home, this may be due to the relationships between family members. Many factors, such as the inconsistent behavior of the mother and father in disciplinary methods, the family ceasing to be an authority figure so as not to upset the adolescent, may cause the effectiveness of disciplinary methods to decrease. However, before an effective discipline method can be used, the child must be shown unconditional love and acceptance.
Nowadays, when adolescents are let loose or exhibit some risk-taking behaviors, this causes them to be defined as "individuals with high self-confidence" by the family and society. it could be. At the same time, parents who set rules and limits are thought to show less attention and love to their adolescents. However, contrary to popular belief, families with rules and boundaries organize the lives of their teenage children and create an environment where their children feel safe. The point to be considered in this regard is that the adolescent should be included in the process when creating boundaries and rules. For example; When deciding on a time to come home in the evening, the adolescent's opinion should be taken into consideration and his/her demands should be taken into consideration. Thus, the adolescent involved in the process will be more willing and sensitive to comply with the rules and, as a result, will take responsibility for his behavior in case of any setback.
Adolescents need to know the rules of the environment in which they live in the process of trying to become adults. Therefore, they want to know what they can and cannot do, and to what extent they can and cannot do it. Because a world with defined borders essentially makes them feel safer. Limits should be set for adolescents by their parents, and their parents should It also gives them messages that they are capable of protecting themselves. Adolescents may sometimes push the limits due to the period they are in, but they also need boundaries in their lives in order to feel safe and make sense of the world.
When setting boundaries, parents must agree and be consistent about the rules and boundaries set, as well as setting boundaries. Another point to consider is how it will be implemented. When parents behave inconsistently, adolescents can be persistent and force their parents to get what they want whenever they want. Adolescents who have difficulty complying with the rules at home may continue the same behavior in social environments outside the home. At the same time, mother and father figures who guide the child may lose their reliability due to instability.
One of the most functional methods of setting limits during adolescence is for the adolescent to pay the price for his behavior. Paying the price means adolescents taking responsibility for their choices or behaviors; is that they are given the opportunity to face the good or bad consequences of these behaviors and responsibilities. For example; Let's imagine a family with a teenage child. The adolescent finds the latest time to come home early at 18.00 and requests that this be increased to 19.00. During such a period, a one-month trial period can be carried out with the parents. During this one-month period, the adolescent is informed that he/she can be home at 19.00 in the evening, that this is a trial period and that the situation will be re-evaluated depending on whether he/she acts according to the time, and during this one-month period, the adolescent's times of going home and going home and how this situation affects the adolescent are observed. Suitable conditions can be re-evaluated at the end of one month. If we evaluate this process; The child first informed his family of his request, and the family gave him a choice in the child's request. The content of this choice offers two things to the adolescent. If the adolescent acts in accordance with the newly determined time, he will have the opportunity to flex the time he comes home. However, if there are problems within a month and he comes home later than the newly determined time, his arrival time will remain the same. In this case, the adolescent individual will have paid the price, good or bad, for his own choices and responsibilities.
Another method is to remove privileges. Removing privileges can be used in families where setting boundaries is more difficult and methods such as warnings and compensation do not work. The method of removal of privileges is to deprive the adolescent of any privilege, such as watching a television program, using a mobile phone, playing computer games, going to the cinema, or any other privileged activity. Another important factor in removing privileges is the length of time. While a period that is too long may make the adolescent forget why he or she is being subjected to this sanction, keeping the period too short may render the sanction useless. For example; A restriction can be placed on the adolescent, such as not using his mobile phone for a day, or he can be limited to watching television for one evening. However, there is one thing that should be noted: Limitations should not be placed on one day a year or for long-term activities (e.g. birthday celebrations).
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