We think that the age group we call children does not understand most situations and cannot make sense of them like adults. Yes, it can be said that children's perceptions are different, but this does not mean that they do not understand. Sometimes, thinking that they do not understand, adults do not understand them. For example, children may draw a picture to be accepted, to feel attention, or to make their mother happy, and they want to show it with excitement. Most of the time, the picture they draw has no meaning related to the story they tell, and consists of a scribble with independent lines. However, in this vague picture, he has drawn his mother, father, house, friends and even animals in his own way...
The child who shows his picture to his parents receives reactions such as "You are wonderful, you are super, you are incredible." In most cases, families give these reactions in order to improve their children's self-confidence. Thus, children receive excellent reactions to their personality as a result of the meaningless shapes they make, and they begin to want to hear more than before.
However, your child may not be Paplo Picasso, Mozart or Einstein, and it does not have to be. While this is a separate topic, what I mean is that this is how the story of the little kitten seeing himself as a lion while looking in the mirror begins. Just like Narcissism.
People with narcissistic traits exaggerate their successes and abilities, are not very open to criticism, and have difficulty with empathy, that is, understanding what others feel. Because their self-perception has been glorified with exaggerated sentences since childhood. Overvaluing families make them feel that they are superior to other children and entitled to special treatment, so they are more likely to raise children who are narcissistic and have inflated egos.
When it comes to the meaningless drawings your child makes, of course, it is not enough to show the need to share it with his family and get approval, but to communicate with him and say "I am very happy that you are drawing, it is nice that you are working hard" for the drawing he made. Otherwise, instead of praising the time and effort he spent while painting, his personality is praised. Another example is the fact that we increase the child's anxiety when we constantly use expressions such as "I trust you", "you can do it".
Home How much can you really trust your little child, whom you cannot even leave alone? We use the same sentence a lot when motivating children. Making sentences such as "I believe you will succeed, you can achieve anything" will trigger children's fear of failure and increase anxiety. It is necessary to pay attention to these sentences, especially those said to reduce exam anxiety. Instead of these, saying "Sometimes you have to try many times to succeed, and trying will teach you a lot." It will both reduce the anxiety of parents by acting more realistically and lighten the burden on your children's shoulders.
Dr. As Brummelman says, “Perhaps we can find a way to help parents show love and appreciation to their children without doling out their children and telling them that others are better than others.”
Read: 0
