Raising a child with attention and behavioral disorders is very stressful. Especially during the school period, many families face many stress factors and experience serious difficulties in communicating. Families strive to be ideal, but the impossibility of this situation pushes many families to feel guilty and lose trust.
The concept we call conscious awareness is based on the practice of keeping the mind in the moment. While our minds are in a constant evaluation, our automatically positive and negative ideas, expectations and prejudices are overcome and it becomes difficult to see what actually exists. Mothers and fathers experience positive and negative emotions throughout their parenting. Stopping the negative behaviors experienced during parenting and triggered by intense emotions with conscious awareness is a process that can develop over time. It is a skill.
Conscious parenting generally means conveying instant awareness to the child and acting with awareness. It means more positive emotions, less anxiety and depression, less stress and higher relationship satisfaction.
Research. It shows that the mindfulness approach has a positive effect on the relationship between mother, child and caregiver. Consciously Aware Parenting aims to make parents aware of parental stress by providing them with physical, mental and emotional experience of stress. At the same time, this approach helps parents understand what is needed rather than questioning what is wrong. When mothers feel tired, worried or conflicted, it is not a sign of illness. In conscious awareness training, they: It is emphasized that they ask the questions "What do I need to do now, What kind of support can help me" instead of "What is wrong with me, why can't I overcome this?" Conscious Awareness is concerned with what is happening now rather than what happened in the past.
Follow five steps to take parenting with awareness from a conceptual level and into our daily lives, and to help us establish a sincere, sincere and trusting relationship with our child in the long run. It is necessary to do:
Listen to your child by giving him/her all your attention.
Introduce yourself and your child. Accept it without judging "good/bad".
Try to notice the emotional state of yourself and your child.
Make emotional arrangements related to your parenting role.
Towards yourself and your child. Review your sense of compassion.
BEING ABLE TO GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION
Interacting with your child by paying full attention is an important phenomenon from birth. The ability to listen with complete interest and attention is not yet available.
When verbal communication begins, it is important to give your full attention to the child when he/she tells you something. Listening fully to your child strengthens his/her self-expression skills and courage and helps to establish a solid foundation of verbal communication, which is the only way you have to get an idea about him/her in adolescence.
ACCEPT
Yourself. and accepting your child's personal characteristics, behaviors, and emotions without judgment means having a clear awareness and open perception of what is happening in the moment and allows us to understand the situation in every aspect.
However, acceptance does not mean that there will be no discipline and guidance. It is not coming. It is a healthy approach to express to your child that you accept him/her in every way, while at the same time setting clear expectations regarding his/her behavior that is socially and culturally appropriate and appropriate in the context of your child's development.
Acceptance also means difficulties in the parent-child relationship. It also includes seeing that being a parent can be very challenging at times, and that growing up is not easy for children in today's conditions.
EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
In order to make emotional regulation. It is the first step and is also a skill that needs to be developed in order to teach your child to name and express his feelings.
Doing emotional regulation does not mean that the urge to display negative emotions or anger will no longer be felt. On the contrary, it means making room for all emotions and giving them more time to be felt. However, it is important and safe to make the distinction between feeling the emotion and agreeing with it. It is purposeful. A parent who is used to reacting by getting caught up in emotional intensity needs to regulate his rising emotions.
Consciously noticing the emotion you feel and stopping before it turns into a reaction and making the appropriate parenting choice is emotional regulation.
COMPASSION.
Including compassion in the relationship means, as an aware parent, noticing your child's needs (not only physical but also emotional needs) and feeling the desire to relieve his/her discomfort. From the controlling and parent-oriented approach; It is a transition to a relationship-oriented approach. It is a concept that the individual should base not only on his child but also on himself. Failure to achieve the goals set as a parent causes self-blame. A compassionate approach prevents all these judgments.
Parenting with awareness is related to our child's constantly changing situation in the long run. While it enables us to respond harmoniously to our needs and evolving nature, it reminds us that our response is not only about the situation we are in, but also concerns the quality and continuity of our long-lasting relationship.
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