VAGINISMUS AND CHILDHOOD

While the dynamic basis of vaginismus lies in the oedipal conflict, it is also useful to evaluate the relations between mother, father and daughter in terms of object relations in this context. It is a very important factor. During this period, the father is the only entity that can control the mother's power in the daughter's conflicts with the mother. It is the only power that will prevent it from being swallowed by the mother. The mother sees her daughter as an extension of herself and tries to control her every behavior. Thanks to the father, the girl will be able to escape from this strong bond of the mother. If the father can manage this process well, he will support the daughter's individualization and entry into the realm of femininity. The father must be determined, reliable and able to assert himself and support his daughter in this process. However, there is a fact that mothers do not give fathers the opportunity in this regard. Mothers do not allow this, they are reluctant to let the father in and they are too encompassing. In order to break this encompassing circle, fathers must be strong and determined. The fathers of these girls may be extremely authoritarian and prone to violence. They are uncaring, untrustworthy, untrustworthy people. They are aggressive, oppressive and can have a nature that does not see the people around them. Just as he cannot be the object of the mother's love, he is also not a reliable object for the daughter. Vaginismus fathers left their daughters' relationship world to their mothers. These fathers are fathers who are physically present in the girl's life but are not functional in any way. If they are present in the environment, they are perceived as an untrustworthy foreign object.

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During this period, the daughter does not care about the son. It comes under a greater load than The boy continues on his way with his mother, the primary object to which he was previously attached. However, the daughter leaves her only mother and begins to discover the father at this stage. This is the period when the daughter begins to compete with the mother. Mothers think their daughters are more like them and are extensions of themselves. Therefore, the process of differentiation and individuation of the girl child from the mother is more difficult. During this period, while the girl tries to become a woman by identifying with the mother, on the other hand, she becomes differentiated from her. works for the moon. The mother-daughter bond expands with the father's involvement. The tripartite relationships thus established enable the child to perceive the family as a small community and to socialize. If this relationship is problematic and there is no relationship built on trust between the father and the daughter, the daughter will experience problems in the epipal period.

During her relationships with her child, the mother shows her daughter both the presence of the father and the existence of a man of the opposite sex. The mother achieves this by revealing her feminine desire for her husband from the very beginning. The daughter completes the cycle in a positive way by establishing a healthy identification process with her mother. The daughter will only be able to combine both motherhood and femininity in the future by internalizing femininity by identifying with her mother's desire for her, her motherhood and her mother's desire for her husband. Women with vaginismus cannot establish this balance very well, we see it as a problem of those who cannot transform from mother to womanhood and cannot go through this process in a healthy way.

As a result, with the pathology experienced in the oedipal period, the father is not included as a third object and a secure bond with the father cannot be established, Failure to complete the differentiation and individuation process on a healthy basis, loss of virginity and damage to physical integrity, and loss of completeness can be counted among the dynamic causes of vaginismus. In such a process, the perception of threat regarding the disruption of body integrity may turn into the idea that penetration of the penis is dangerous. The woman's only defense and last protection against this action is to close her body to the outside world. He will close his mind and body to protect himself against his partner.

 

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