Children growing up in families where there is some form of physical or emotional abuse
often continue these unhealthy behavior patterns they learned in their childhood
years after leaving home. You can't think of that
behavior as dysfunctional when that's all you know, it's your normal anyway. These people
only begin to realize
that something is not normal when their unhealthy behavior patterns become evident in their romantic
or social relationships in adulthood. “Is it normal for it to always be like this?” , “Why does it always
happen to me?”
Although they refrain from doing so, many people repeat these unhealthy behavior patterns they
learned in their childhood until something forces them to question their behavior and
relationships. “Why do I always choose
people who use me? , “Why do I always find men who push me attractive?” Questions like
are questions that show that it's time to start working to break this cycle. “I don't want to do these things to my children” is a common rhetoric by people who realize their experience is not fair. There's a good chance your parents
might have complained the same way before they had children.
We all set out with the intention to do better than our own experiences, but
it takes time and dedication to work to forget years of unhealthy behavior patterns
requires. Often, trying to forget negative coping skills
is harder than continuing on our own path.
These 5 tips can help you
on your journey to breaking unhealthy behavior patterns and healing:
< br /> 1. Recognize that what has happened to you has been traumatic.
This is the hardest but most necessary step. If you don't accept your trauma, it won't have a place in your life
and so it continues to float in your subconscious. It's not about blaming
on anyone or a group, it's just about acknowledging your truth and
what happened to you. Many people do this by keeping a diary,
in therapy, with a partner or y Akın confesses to himself through a friend. You don't need to confront your parents to begin your
journey of recovery.
If they have a history of rejecting your feelings, their continued denial of the things you say you've been through will add to the trauma you endured.
Shame when your experiences are denied or ignored A sense of
comes along, which is one of the biggest obstacles to help-seeking behavior.
2. Find support to handle your inner problem.
The number one way to grow and heal is to work on it. But this
path is arduous and painful. Many people choose to seek help from a therapist when this inner struggle becomes challenging and triggering
. In addition, you can benefit from books, support groups, and journaling to provide the support you need
. The key is to maintain consistency on this journey to growth.
3. Identify which areas you need improvement in.
Rather than seeing this as a list of shortcomings that you need to fix,
as a list made of
to see what areas you need to improve yourself and your relationship in. It will make your job easier to see. It requires self-awareness and strength, as it is not easy to look at our shortcomings
. Take a look at the patterns of behavior you repeat throughout your relationships, both romantic and platonic. Maybe
you realize that you can get angry easily and you want to change that. Or
perhaps you've found yourself turning down and rejecting others. Of course, these aren't things that will change
overnight, but they are things you can work on
throughout your growth journey.
4. Create space to show yourself self-compassion every day.
Children who grew up in traumatic environments are rarely given compassion and space to think for themselves
. That's why showing self-compassion can feel awkward at first
.
Doing something good for our body through exercise, yoga or meditation; It may seem strange to someone who has been taught that it is not.
Many children growing up in a chaotic environment have learned to love their bodies only through self-destructive ways such as unhealthy
food. Slowly change some of these unhealthy habits as you increase the time it takes to love and show
compassion for yourself.
5. Try to be more open with loved ones
to understand your impact in relationships.
This is an area we can all improve on, as it is never easy
to listen to how we affect or even hurt others. Children who grow up in families that lack healthy communication and
empathy quickly learn that such conversations are threatening or unsafe. Later on, they may grow up to be adults
who avoid difficult conversations with others because of the uncomfortable feeling
they brought from their childhood. I'm trying to be more open to learning and do better”
might be good. This doesn't place the other person
responsible for improvement, but instead tells them you're trying to be a safer
person to have these tough conversations with.
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