Family is an important institution in the lives of all people. The continuation of existence is shaped by the family into which a person is born or raised. In terms of human societies, family is an institution that has continuity, but also carries itself into the future and updates itself with the changes it carries out.
Family, in its most common definition, is an institution that ensures the continuation of its species as a result of biological relationships, sharing,
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It is a group with a biological, psychological, socio-economic and legal structure in which socialization takes place, mutual relations are governed by rules, and social values are transferred to the next generations. Although family
definitions are generally made in terms of blood relations, it is useful to evaluate the families that individuals create from parents and children through adoption in the same context.
With these qualities, family; It is a whole in which emotions such as love, happiness, connection, belonging and sharing are experienced,
which is nourished by the warmth created by these emotions and which makes it possible to continue.
The child manages to continue its existence as a result of meeting its needs in the family it is born into. These needs include meeting elements such as protection, socialization, biological needs, emotional
support, education, religion and economic support. The child who grows up with these security elements reveals his stance in life with all these important points.
In human life, the first five years of childhood are of great importance. The personality patterns he will use in adulthood are shaped by the foundations formed during these years. Of course, it is not possible to control every point in life
. However, it is important to have the skills to overcome uncontrolled negativities with the least damage
and to be able to use them.
Adolescence is the second important period of childhood. This period is the period of restructuring and compensation in which the negativities that occurred during childhood can be eliminated and new positive characteristics can be developed.
This process is a stormy phase in which families have difficulty communicating with their children.
In a fast pace of growth Even the adolescent himself has difficulty adapting to this speed
. Change can occur frequently, suddenly, and at unexpected places and times. The adolescent usually expects adaptation to these changes. However, the need today may have turned into a different need tomorrow.
His hairstyle changes every day, the time he spends in front of the mirror increases, and sometimes he sees himself as the most beautiful or handsome, and sometimes he may perceive himself as the ugliest. During this period, the individual is not at all good with the rules. He wants to be his own rule maker. It goes against existing
rules. He thinks that he knows the best of everything and can make the right decisions.
In this period, while clarifying his own sexual identity, he begins to notice and become more interested in the opposite sex
. In addition to these, an intense period in which problems are experienced in peer relationships is felt
.
Exactly this period describes a situation in which adolescent and family conflicts are experienced. The family becomes afraid and panics, thinking that they have lost their child, who was always quiet, harmonious, well-behaved, studied, and obeyed the rules.
However, the same child is always there and only his needs
have changed.
In this period, the family often feels helpless, inadequate, does not know what to do, and thinks "How to behave
will be the best." ?” searches for the answer to the question. However, the most basic need of the adolescent is to have his/her existence accepted. The adolescent, who is in need of separation-individuation, wants to receive approval and acceptance.
Consistency in relationships manifests itself to the extent that the parent can use the listening skill at this time.
In the relationship with the adolescent, without giving examples from the adolescent's peers or judging, Acceptance without criticism plays a role in strengthening family ties and maintaining healthy relationships. In family life, it is important for each individual's roles to be clear and for the parents to have a common attitude in the hierarchical structure to create balance and harmony. Parents ensure the continuation of a harmonious and balanced family communication by setting rules
compatible with the age of the adolescent and changing these rules over time according to needs. A teenager does not want to obey the rules, so rules are not necessary
z and annoying. However, having open communication about the rules and sharing why the rules are needed helps adolescent attitudes become flexible. During this period, the adolescent is brave and not afraid to try.
The parent's informative approach contributes to the development of the individual's self-confidence. It is important to tolerate the adolescent's small
mistakes in a controlled manner so that he/she can form his/her own truths
. It should not be forgotten that we cannot create our own truths based on the experiences of others. While cruel criticism causes damage to relationships during this period, seeing and rewarding positive aspects strengthens parent-adolescent relationships; It contributes to the healthy development of the adolescent. It should not be forgotten that the bridges they will build will be more
healthier and stronger.
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