Everyone has an opinion about themselves. We constantly think about ourselves throughout the day, even if unintentionally. While events continue to happen around us, when we are alone at the end of the day, we inevitably associate the causes and consequences of the events with ourselves. Is this analysis wrong? It would not be correct to answer this question with yes or no. Due to human nature, this process is an unavoidable process that occurs automatically in our subconscious.
In the crowd, we focus on the positive aspects of ourselves or the negative characteristics of others because of the abundance of stimuli around us. When we are alone, we focus on the negative aspects of ourselves.
“I couldn't give the necessary answer there!”
“My self-confidence is very low, I would love to change that.”
“My wife doesn't find me beautiful enough, I would love to change that.”
“I can't make people laugh enough, I'd love to change that.”
“My wife doesn't like the food I cook, how can I change her mind?”
“I look at things very negatively, I wish I could change that.”
“I can't control my anger well, I would love to change that.”
“I have a weak character, I would love to change that.”
If we set our axis as change, we will run away from ourselves and our problems. Identifying our problems is easy, but determining what to do next is the hard part. Changing people's opinions about you is almost impossible. It is a very difficult process to get into people's minds and change their established thoughts. Instead, if we choose to be at peace with our own shortcomings and improve them, we will have less difficulty and be more at peace with ourselves.
Instead of changing the shortcomings that we analyze during the therapy processes and bringing in other features that do not belong to us, we will be at peace with the features that currently form our character and We learn to discover new ways to improve them. Believe me, the process is more natural this way. and we gain the permanent appreciation of those around us.
For these reasons, if you are considering starting the therapy process, I recommend that you choose development, not change, as your goal. If you wait for a new person to emerge from within you, you will be doing yourself a great injustice and you may lose your own self-love. Believe in development, not change, and increase your quality of life. If you do this, you may feel that you can walk stronger, more solidly and more confidently as you move towards your future goals.
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