Today, I would like to tell you about a psychological problem that is encountered in almost one in ten people, but some experience it severely and others experience it at a milder level. While talking about this problem, you can say that I have gone through such a process, or you can also say that I have witnessed such a situation in my close circle. You know, when we think that all eyes are on us in a crowded environment, we feel nervous, our voice is shaky, our mouth is dry, we hesitate to speak, and the thoughts of "If I speak, I will definitely be embarrassed, everyone will make fun of me, I won't be able to look at anyone's face" constantly gnaw at our brains. Or, while walking on the road, we think that all eyes are on us and start walking quickly to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Even if we have not experienced this situation exactly, we have probably witnessed someone in our close circle experiencing this or a similar situation.
Generally, the first thought that comes to mind for people who encounter such a problem is "a very shy person" or "a very shy person". . However, this is neither shyness nor timidity. Well, what ? This is a situation that deeply affects our lives and causes us to have negative automatic thoughts. At this point, it will be possible to talk about social phobia. Just close our eyes for a second and imagine that in a theater, all your acquaintances are in front of the stage to watch your show. Imagine that you are not wearing your costume and have no clothes on when the curtain opens. How would you feel! Of course, you would feel great embarrassment and feel like running away from there immediately, or thinking that if the ground were to open, you would fall inside. Is this the same thing as social phobia? you can say. Yes, the feelings and negative automatic thoughts experienced by those with social phobia are exactly like the feelings and thoughts you experience when you go on stage without any clothes on. The only difference is that they experience these feelings and thoughts in their daily lives rather than a stage. Individuals with social phobia constantly live with this fear, thinking that they may be judged, ridiculed, embarrassed or embarrassed by others.
A person who tells his family about the difficulties he has been experiencing for a long time However, my client could not receive any support because his family stated that this situation was a teenage problem, that it could pass over time, and that there was nothing to exaggerate. He is 17 years old (male) and finally stated that he could not cope with this process and wanted to go to a psychologist by putting pressure on his family. When we consider his life story; He stated that he has been reluctant to speak and be present in public for a long time, that he has difficulty in making friends at school, that there are days when he gets off at the next stop because he cannot indicate where he wants to get off on the minibus, and that he exhibits truancy behavior when he has to give a lecture presentation in class. At the same time, while experiencing these, he was experiencing physiological symptoms such as palpitations, sweating, tension, nausea, and dry mouth.
So "What must have happened that he was faced with these negative automatic thoughts?"
Family structure is of great importance for people with social phobia. The development of social phobia is higher in children who grow up in families that constantly criticize and are indifferent to their children, compared to other children. In the face of events, we constantly ask "why did you do this?" Children who grow up with expressions such as "you are useless", "you are incompetent", "do you always make the same mistake", "keep quiet, don't answer" are at such a high risk of social phobia. A person who is constantly afraid of making mistakes and who thinks that everything he does is wrong, has difficulty in establishing social relationships, and thinks that he will "make a mistake in society, be humiliated, be shamed or ridiculed". The most important thing that should not be forgotten is that individuals in adolescence become introverted and avoid being in society, and this should not be confused with shyness. Just like the feelings and thoughts my client experiences. His family stated that he was experiencing problems related to adolescence, that he was shy rather than social phobia, and that it was becoming more and more difficult day by day. It should not be forgotten that these symptoms are serious psychological problems that are overlooked by families as a problem of adolescence.
Again, extremely anxious parents or excessive pressure Cruel parents can also hinder their children's need to research, examine and discover. Such an obstacle makes it difficult for the child to develop his sense of self-confidence and become autonomous. It is also normal for a child who is in a constant feeling of fear to avoid people and avoid confrontation. Especially between the ages of two and three, the most important people in children's lives are their parents, that is, their family, who care for them. It should be noted that the attitudes and attitudes of the parents towards the child during this period when he is trying to explore the environment are very important. Especially from this age onwards, approaching children in a balanced way will be effective in developing the child's sense of self-confidence and preventing social phobia. For this reason, the attitude that the family should give to the child should be positive sentences such as "You can succeed, I believe in you, it can happen if you want", so that psychological problems that may occur in the future can be overcome.
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