All our life ties are formed by the relationships we establish with others. Imagine that there is a rope between us and the people we are in relationship with, and that there is a rope between us and the people we are in relationship with, and you will see that all people are connected to each other with an endless rope. This means that we will feel the effect at one end of the rope at the other end, so we can call it the domino effect. That's why the Islamic scholar and Sufi Shams-i Tabrizi, one of the most powerful and important clerics of all time, talks about exactly this by saying 'if your heart changes, the world changes'. Again, on the grave of an Anglican bishop in the basement of Westminster Monastery in England. If you change, the world changes. When I was young and free, when my dreams were endless, I wanted to change the world. As I got older and wiser, I realized that the world would not change. So I limited my dreams a little and decided to change only my hometown. But it didn't look like he was going to change either. When I got older, I made a last effort to change only my family, those closest to me. But unfortunately I couldn't get this accepted. And now, as I lay on my deathbed, I suddenly realized that if I had only changed myself first, I could have changed my family as well, by being an example to them. With the courage and inspiration I would receive from them, I could take my country further. Who knows, maybe I could even change the world. It is writing. Famous writer and thinker Tolstoy: "Everyone thinks of changing humanity, but no one thinks of changing himself first." Der. Although these thinkers, who were far beyond the society they lived in at the time, aimed to change the society they lived in with their works and studies, as I mentioned at the beginning, the result they reached in this way was to change themselves.
When you begin to understand that all humanity is connected to each other by an invisible thread, you begin to realize the value you put in life. We all have an energy field around our bodies and we communicate nonverbally with our environment through these energies. The nonverbal communication we establish actually affects the other person far beyond words. You have all experienced liking or disliking a person when you enter an environment. These feelings you can't explain It is generally related to the energy frequencies that that person radiates to the outside world. You prefer to be in relationships with people who are more similar to your energy. Whatever is around you, positive or negative, good or bad, is actually a reflection of you. In other words, those people whom you do not like at all, who annoy you every time you see them, whom you constantly judge and criticize, unfortunately, they also symbolize the dark sides of your soul. The good news is that the beautiful people who shine brightly and make you feel happy when you see them reflect a part of you. So, whatever you complain about, are unhappy with, or want to change, you should first start with yourself and your own energy field.
As a psychotherapist, I have seen that my clients are very resistant to taking this responsibility. Even though many people are aware of their contribution to events during therapy, they focus on the other party's contribution to the event and believe that everything will be better if the other party changes themselves. Although this type of thought system is common, it is actually a person's choice to defend himself. This resistant structure, which I will call EGO, has a greater effect on you than you think. In Freud's words, the EGO is like a knight on a rearing horse. He does not want to change and is ready to fight for it. Even though you desire a more peaceful, happy and loving life, your ego is programmed to protect the existing system and will resist until the end. He is right, the ego has strengthened its entire system with environmental conditions, family dynamics and culture since childhood. Just like a perfectionist parent living inside you, he protects you while judging and even punishing you. Your ego, which has been protecting you for years, can, on the one hand, think about your well-being and, on the other hand, block all your efforts for change. I am not talking about leaving the ego aside and ignoring it and living an ego-free life. On the contrary, I am talking about understanding the ego and being in peace and harmony with it. You may believe that you know your ego very well, but your ego knows you very well. It recognizes your darkest sides, your desires, your desires, all your repressed emotions that lie deep within your subconscious, and uses it to keep you in balance. Understanding the ego and working in harmony with it will be a more supportive attitude than ignoring it and trying to destroy it. Some thinkers and philosophers talk about destroying the ego and silencing it, and that all humanity must strive for this, and they see the destruction of the ego as the salvation of humanity. However, I believe that cooperating with our ego, which has served us for centuries, and even being grateful to it, will soften our rigid ego. Every person has an inner wisdom that lies perhaps a little deeper than their ego. Some may call it the inner voice, the higher self, the voice of the angels, the universal consciousness, I will just prefer to call it the wisdom within you. This inner wisdom and your ego are separate from each other with sharp boundaries. In fact, it is enough to recognize and understand both of them.
What is EGO? How do you know if the voice inside you belongs to your ego or your inner wisdom?
The EGO constantly wants. He wants to be important, to be valuable, to be respected in society, to get approval, to control everyone and everything, to be the best, to be successful, and to avoid obstacles. It is either in the future, he hopes, or in the past. He doesn't want change. He constantly compares himself with others, criticizes and judges. The language he uses is a necessity. You hear imperative moods that express oppressive necessity, such as –should-should. He usually has an angry, harsh, oppressive attitude. He always blames others and enjoys revenge. He does not want to suffer, but he wants to keep the attention of those around him through manipulations that involve constant emotional and physical illness and sadness. Death and destruction are the greatest fear. It produces anxious, restless, dark emotions.
The Sacred Wisdom within you knows that everything and everyone in the world is interconnected and part of a whole. There is no need for external approval. He understands that everything that happens serves its purpose perfectly and he is at peace. Always lives in the moment and enjoys life. He is open to change, gives pain and grief the importance they deserve, and lives this in a healthy way. His tongue is soft, quiet and gentle. Although the ego is harsh, oppressive and repetitive, it is also soft, kind and courteous on the wise side. When you seek his guidance, he will communicate with you through the language of love. ktir. It produces loving, peaceful, compassionate, peaceful emotions.
When you start listening to your inner voices, you begin to become your own expert. Although it may be difficult to distinguish between your ego and your wise inner voice at first, you will be able to do this easily in the future. Although meditating can of course accelerate your personal transformation and strengthen your connection with your inner knowledge, I know that this is not possible for many of you. That's why I will talk about living life in meditation.
Osho, the thinker who was considered by The Sunday Times magazine as one of the 1000 gods of the 20th century, said: Meditation means awareness. Anything you do with awareness is meditation. It's not about the action, it's about the quality you bring to your action. If you walk alertly, walking can be a meditation. If you sit alert, sitting can be a meditation. Listening to birds can be a meditation if you listen with awareness. If you are alert and observant, simply listening to the voice inside your head can be a meditation. He actually talks about living life as meditation. Even if not in every action, at first only in the face of events that give you intense emotions, stop for a moment, take a break, watch yourself as if you were outside yourself, and focus on your feelings for a minute. Are you angry? Does your anger actually stem from your fear? Whatever is inside you at that moment, just be like an observer and watch. Now you are your own expert and you have the opportunity to make a unique observation. Live every moment of your life by feeling, watching and knowing. This way, you will be able to distinguish which inner voice comes from the ego and which inner voice comes from the wise source within you, and over time, you will be able to do this very quickly.
Living in a meditative state means loving oneself very much. Loving his mind, loving his body, loving everything that belongs to him. Someone who knows his own mind and body cannot belong to any ideology or be a slave to any prejudice or group fanaticism. What I present to you is a completely new style of meditation. I'm talking about living life meditatively, I'm not telling you that meditating at certain times of the day is not productive, of course you can benefit from it, but many of you will not. The ego is always your mind meditating. He will object to your listening. Beyond silencing the ego, I'm talking about listening to its voices and discovering its methods. One's journey beyond oneself can only be through harmony and love, not through war, hostility and anger. It may even be your own ego that you get angry with and fight against, but when you follow your mind step by step with an advanced awareness capacity, your emotions, your darkest aspects, you get closer to your own truth. When the truth emerges, there is no need for the unreal, just like the darkness ends when the light emerges. You should know that discovering your own light will also destroy your own darkness. And the good news is that this transformation you will create in yourself can happen faster than you think. Many people believe that this is impossible, and it is very easy to believe that you are the same at 70 as you were at 7. However, when I say enlightenment and awareness, you can always find an excuse for it. Excuses are also a defense tactic of your ego. Leave everything aside and play this easy game with yourself. Listen to your mind as an observer, just listen to your mind's voices, whatever comes to your mind, even if it's nonsense. It's like a child trying to make himself heard and singing chaotic songs loudly while you're chatting with a friend. He will continue to shout and talk nonsense until you listen to him. When you listen to him/her, he/she will no longer need to shout and nonsense so much and will express himself/herself much more creatively and joyfully.
Mind Entanglement
When a person's awareness of himself increases, he starts to get rid of the influence of his Ego and his inner world. He begins to explore his mind. When you reach your secrets in the labyrinths of your own mind and begin to confront your darkest sides, your ego becomes a support rather than an obstacle.
The human mind accumulates all its experiences. Although this is a positive situation, the accumulation of too many negative memories causes the person to develop a general state of sensitivity towards life. His mind now perceives all life events within the framework of these negative experiences, which is a subjective interpretation of reality. The mind is so entangled in negative experiences that it reacts unreally to even the smallest events it experiences.
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