According to the definition of the Turkish Language Association, responsibility is expressed as "assuming the consequences of one's own behavior". In other words, the person should be able to face the situation created by his own actions and accept the consequences of this situation. Based on this definition, in the face of a child who does not want to do his homework and has not yet completed his homework even though it is time to go to bed, should family members do the homework that the child is supposed to do, even if told, so that family members do not go to school without doing their homework? OF course NO! Instead, the child should be reminded that he has homework to be done by bedtime, and it should be left to him to choose whether or not to do it. The choice should be left to the child so that he can go to school and face the consequences of being a student who has not done his homework at school (ATTENTION: The intended consequences should not be a harsh punishment or a self-destructive speech!) and gain the awareness of responsibility.
To the child. 7 Steps to Gain Responsibility Awareness !
What should be done and what should not be done in the process of raising a sense of responsibility in children? What is right and what should be done? What is wrong and what should be reduced and not done? If you have such questions and are looking for answers to these questions, please read the 7 steps below carefully and try to apply them.
Don't Forget That You Are A Role Model !
If there is a parent who does not fulfill their responsibilities at home and always argues for this reason, the process of learning their responsibilities is more difficult for that child. It can be long and difficult. Remember that children tend to do what you do rather than what you say. He tells your child that he should read a book in order to gain awareness of reading or to do his homework, but if you never read a book or if your child never sees you reading a book, he will not be fulfilling your request. As the most important role models of children, you should be an example for them in the process of raising a sense of responsibility.
Be Consistent and Determined !
Mother and father should be consistent and behave in the same way in the process of creating a sense of responsibility. Learning the child's responsibilities if there is inconsistency between parents process will be damaged. For example, although it is said that the child should carry his bag while going to school and that his bag is his responsibility, when his mother goes to school with his mother, he carries his bag instead of him, but if the child carries his bag when he goes to school with his father, confusion will arise for the child and the learning process of his responsibilities will be impaired.
Don't Make Up!
Children love exceptions and they try to chase the exception they catch once and make it happen again. If the room of a child who is responsible for tidying his room is tidied without waiting for the child to tidy his room because a guest will come to the house, or if the homework is done quickly for him to go to the guest house, the child will have caught an open door. Although these exceptions may seem small and insignificant, they should be seen as abrasive misbehaviors in terms of gaining a sense of responsibility for children.
Make Family Chat Days and Make a Plan List !
Family should have chat days, and during these chat times both your expectations from your child and his/her wishes from you as their parents. should be brought. A schedule should be established for domestic affairs. These chat environments are a very important step for your children to develop, instructive, self-confidence, to gain the feeling of being loved and cared for, as well as a supportive step in gaining a sense of responsibility.
Give Age-appropriate Responsibilities for Housework !
Give your child small responsibilities that are appropriate for his/her age in the family chores you create in family conversations. For example, do not dress children who go to school in the morning, let them dress even if they are not completely dressed, do not feed them, let them eat even if they spill. Do not tidy his room for the older age, let him be the one in charge of the layout and responsibility of his room, do not ask for help while preparing the meal, tell him to do the things that you have determined with the family conversations beforehand. Such as carrying plates, preparing forks and spoons and so on.
Encourage !
In order for an individual to take action, start, and take the first step, he or she must have an incentive to do that subject. That is, only the individual with internal or external motivation takes action. For this reason, children and adolescents need to be motivated and encouraged to take their responsibilities. Sometimes this can be a game to be played with the family, sometimes a movie to watch together, a word well done, a hug, a pat on the head, a program list, and a reward if it is complied with. However, the important point here is that the incentive includes moral value rather than material value, and it can be reduced over time, allowing the individual to internalize his responsibilities.
Be Patient !
The most important thing in a new formation, learning, awareness and development processes is to BE PATIENT. It should be borne in mind that no one has a magic wand and cannot make incredible changes all of a sudden. All these processes are teamwork and require consistency and patience. It should be followed with patience and it should be remembered that it is necessary to proceed step by step without running in order to reach the targeted place. It would be wrong to burden your child with so many responsibilities that he/she is older than he/she is used to, or to expect him/her to have a sense of responsibility. It is much more likely and safer to reach the desired destination when you take slow but sure steps. Please do not withhold your patience from yourself, your children and all living things.
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