Anger is a universal feeling of extreme anger that arises from different internal and external influences, causes reactive behavior at different levels, is not planned in advance, and is intended to defend the person against threats. The way the emotion of anger is experienced makes it good or bad. It causes more harm than other negative emotions.
Sometimes it can be moderate, short-term and even beneficial to the person, and sometimes it can be very severe, intense, continuous and destructive. While anger is an internal emotional experience that varies in intensity and duration; Aggression is behavior that can harm a person, object or social system. In case of anger, attention narrows, executive functions weaken, and thus destructive behavior can be exhibited without thinking about the consequences. Anger is a milder form of anger. Increased anger leads to aggression and violence.
Anger is an emotional reaction that occurs in the face of a specific attack, danger, threat, criticism or obstacle. When expressing anger, we show behaviors that we take as models from the people around us. In other words, your children watch and model your solution style in the face of problems.
Reasons for increased anger intensity
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Lack of empathy
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Low tolerance threshold
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Insufficiency in problem-solving skills
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Behaviors that make us feel our inadequacy
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Lack of social skills or not using them
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Making it a habit to get what you want by exhibiting an aggressive attitude
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From the media Taking violence as an example (TV etc.)
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Violent games (including computer games)
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Violence taken as a model from parents
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Violence modeled from society
Anger physical, verbal, passive aggression or resentment It may be directed outwards, such as somatic, psychiatric symptoms, or suicide. The way anger is expressed varies between genders. While men are more likely to engage in physical aggression as a result of extreme anger, women more often exhibit behaviors such as verbal aggression and gossip.
� Anger is a secondary emotion
The primary emotion is usually sadness, anxiety, shame, guilt, disappointment, fear, jealousy, or thoughts of being humiliated or treated unfairly. It is important to express and know the main emotion. The reason why we hide the main emotion is that we do not think it suits us or we fear that we will be underestimated if we express it. Anger is an emotion that arises more easily and automatically.
Especially in children and adolescents, violent images and games they are exposed to, inappropriate parental discipline, low intelligence, academic failure, parental conflict, low socioeconomic level, criminal circle of friends, anger management problems and aggressive It increases behaviors.
Controlling anger
With empathy, anger management and social problem-solving skills training, the child's social competence can be increased and aggressive behaviors can be reduced. Being able to consider the other person's point of view, feelings, thoughts, and intentions, and thinking about what others think about us makes it easier to control anger. Being able to control and direct emotions such as anger and fear we feel against any stimulus without effort is the ability to regulate our emotional state (Emotion regulation). Effortful control means suppressing the first inappropriate reaction that comes to our mind, turning to an alternative, more reasonable reaction, and shifting attention from the source of anger.
Expressing Anger Healthily:
Defending your rights without showing aggression, acting by taking into account the feelings, rights and needs of others, explaining our expectations and limits to other people makes the solution easier > When you express something with uncontrolled anger, you prevent the other party from hearing you because the emotion is so intense. Doing injustice or disturbing others while seeking your rights is a common behavior.
If we realize and accept our anger, we take steps for change. Expressing anger verbally using "I" language, rather than with emotions and behavior, makes problem solving easier. I said li is to express how you feel in response to inappropriate behavior. Instead of “You are naughty”, “You are careless”, “You tire me out”, “You make me very sad”, such as “I get disturbed when you make noise”.
In a State of Uncontrolled Anger
The risk of making the wrong decision increases
It prevents us from finding creative solutions
Our relationship with the environment may deteriorate
We may have legal problems.
We may perceive neutral stimuli as a threat
It negatively affects our health
It triggers the aggression of the other party
Anger Useful skills for control
Communication and giving feedback in the group
Teaching to develop alternative thoughts and behavior
Creating and telling stories about being calm
Anger management using the characters in the stories
Relaxation exercises
Imagination studies
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Interpretations made by our mind on the negativities experienced and The explanations it provides are mostly automatic. Of course, triggers also play a role, but our thoughts play a greater role in maintaining anger and turning it into aggression. Thoughts pass by at lightning speed and we find ourselves reacting. It is very important to catch these thoughts and question whether they are realistic.
External events are setbacks that are beyond our control. Events that pave the way for anger are; It is fatigue and our current emotional state (unhappiness, anxiety, etc.).
Thinking errors that lead to anger
Labeling: It is taking a single behavior of the other person and ascribing it to their entire personality. It is when we ignore the positive characteristics of a person and see him/her as bad. For example: “Disrespectful man”.
Catastrophizing: Focusing only on negative outcomes and exaggerating and seeing this situation as a disaster also fuels anger. For example, he responded to a joke made on him by saying, “He embarrassed me in front of people. Again It's like interpreting it as "I can't look at their faces anymore."
Mind reading: “He does this deliberately and knowingly.” Interpreting it as if you are reading the other person's mind plays a big role in anger.
All or nothing thinking, “He always does this, he never thinks about me.” etc.
Making prophecies: Thinking like "There's no point in trying, it will never change" are distorted thoughts that lead to or increase anger.
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