Stalk, stalking, stalkers… Nowadays, we have started to hear and use these concepts a lot. As a part of social media, which has started to take a more central position in our lives due to the internet entering our lives from every area and infiltrating even the gaps in relationships, which creates an advantage for some and a disadvantage for others: Stalk. Is stalking a symptom of an unhealthy condition or an advantage brought by technology? What does stalking cause or protect us from? Should we or shouldn't we? Let's take a look at these together...
The word Stalk is a word that came into our language from English. Its Turkish equivalent is generally defined in dictionaries as “to approach silently, to sneak up on, to stalk, to watch insidiously, to walk slowly, to walk majestically, to embrace (f.); It is expressed with words such as "stalk, leaf stalk, feather stalk, goblet foot (n.) (Dictionarist, n.d.)". Stalk action in Oxford Dictionaries; Cyberstalking is "harassing or distressing someone with unwanted or obsessive attention"; It is defined as “the repeated use of electronic communication methods with a person to harass or intimidate them, for example by sending threatening emails (Oxford, n.d.).” Cyberstalker (cyberstalker) is, in short, a person who watches the online activities of another person or people.
These are mostly seen as dictionary definitions of the concept of stalking. Nowadays, stalking is used as a definition of the acceptable and normal situation of following a person's profile closely in the virtual environment or stalking them in order to obtain detailed information about them. With the spread of social media and the presence of personal profiles on social networks, stalking has become a frequently performed and routine action in the virtual environment. In this sense, stalking has also gained a meaning as tracking on social media networks. In this article, we will look at the meaning of the concept of stalking and the why and how of this meaning.
When the word is considered in the context of stalking, the purpose of the stalker is to search for something or to try to understand whether something is true or false that he doubts. shows that it is. The word actually shows that the action is not done arbitrarily, but contains an element of curiosity. This is why It would not be wrong to say that one of the main reasons for stalking is curiosity. Who are we wondering about? Our lover, our ex-lover, our boss, someone we admire or hate... All of these things, whether listed or not, are wondered about with different motives and needs. The important thing is to understand these underlying needs.
While doing this, our main desire is to have information about these people. Stalk comes into play when information cannot be accessed directly or if we have doubts about the reliability of the information obtained. However, the point that needs to be taken into consideration here is the point at which the process that begins with simple curiosity begins to arouse feelings such as anger and jealousy in the person. At this point, the person should know how to stop at the point where he feels that he is harming himself.
Stalking in real life and cyber stalking are concepts that should be evaluated quite differently from each other. While the idea of following a person's places in real life, observing who they are friends with, or even peeking to see what they are wearing makes us very uncomfortable, when we do this through social media, we do not feel worried and consider ourselves right. In other words, although it is not welcome in social life to follow someone in real life or enter someone's private space, it is quite normal to examine someone's profile on social networks, follow them, and access private information about them.
This is one of the places where stalking comes into play the most. One is undoubtedly when a relationship ends. Stalking stands out as one of the most important factors that make it difficult to adapt to a new life when it occurs after the separation process. How does the process work?
The stalking behavior we do for people with whom we need to be in contact psychologically but cannot contact in real life (platonic love, ex-lover, etc.) actually comes from the need to be in contact. When we fall in love with someone, the brain begins to release dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that has the same effect on a person's brain as drugs. Just as people who use drugs enter the cycle of addiction by taking that substance again and again to experience the same feeling again, the chemical process in our brain works in this way when we fall in love.
When we break up and we bond with the person we love. When you lose track, stalking makes the inaccessible accessible. So what's so bad about this? Separation means breaking a bond and giving up on the person you love. Continuing to stay in contact with a person through stalking delays the post-breakup adjustment process and causes the actually broken bond to continue in the person's internal process. Making the relationship one-sided by being aware of what he does, where he goes, who he is friends with, and even when he is online undermines the post-breakup process.
So, is this just a one-sided phenomenon? In other words, when talking about the stalker's attitudes on this issue, not mentioning how the stalker affects this situation will cause the subject to remain incomplete.
Being liked, approved, and accepted can be considered as instrumental satisfactions that nourish a person emotionally and lead to satisfaction. Continuing the socialization process at every stage of life, the individual continues his social life by establishing relationships with others in his environment. With the spread of social networks, this socialization process has also moved to different platforms and started to take place through profiles created in social networks. Being accepted, liked, approved, etc. by the community. Interactions have also become possible through these networks.
The essence of the intense use of social networks is that the individual has the freedom to escape from his own reality, to act as the person he wants to be, and to create a new self by creating his virtual self as he wishes/dreams. drivable. A person reflects the character and attitude characteristics he wants to be on social media and can escape from his real self by losing himself in this virtual reality. This situation brings the individual to the peak of satisfaction.
For this reason, social networks become addictive for the individual and he spends the majority of his time following social networks with computers, tablets, mobile phones or similar devices (at least several times a day; Before going to sleep, as soon as you wake up, during the day you can browse networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. By sharing it, it draws a road map for stalkers by telling other users in its network what kind of a person he is, what he likes, where he goes, whether he is in a relationship, his daily troubles or happiness. When these posts receive comments, are shared and gain likes, the individual who is in the position of being watched is satisfied with the feedback he receives.
If Goffman's (2014) concepts of performance/representation are remembered; It is stated that the individual presents himself by framing his self, that is, by framing himself as knowing that he is being watched, he creates his virtual self, and since he is aware that all the shares that express this virtual self are already being followed/surveilled by others, he selects/determines all the shares that he expects to be seen and watched with this awareness. It is possible.
As a result, it would not be wrong to say that the virtual world and social environments are one of the most effective means of communication of our age, in today's age where technology is rapidly developing and social networks surround every aspect of our lives. We live in an age where most of the communication methods that bring us together in social life have moved to virtual environments. However, carrying out all social relations through virtual networks carries the danger of alienating the person from his own reality.
Nowadays, making a recommendation or comment such as "do not use social media" is not seen as a very possible option for most people, so they do not want to use social media. Questioning from time to time how connected we remain with our true self, removing stalking from the routine of daily life, and saying stop when it harms us are more likely goals. I hope the difference between your real self and your virtual self will not widen…
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