Anxiety, like all other emotions, is a normal and necessary emotion. Every parent may have some concerns while raising their child. These; abuse, kidnapping, bullying, security, a negative experience at school, failure, etc. Even though every parent is worried about these issues, they do not react the same way.
Anxious parents negatively affect both themselves and their children. Children who see their parents worried become afraid. Anxiety hinders children's development and curiosity. It restricts children from feeling comfortable. It prevents children from exploring their world, interacting freely with their peers, learning about possibilities, risks and making mistakes.
You must learn to cope with anxiety first for yourself and then for your child. Parents who raise their children with anxiety cannot help their children gain a sense of discovery, responsibility and independence.
Children who grow up with anxiety can also be anxious. This is a process that starts from the womb. Children growing up with anxiety feel in danger at all times. They cannot cope with their own anxiety in the presence of their parents who cannot cope with their anxiety. The child cannot be expected to be separated from his mother while his mother takes him to school with anxiety. Children of anxious parents may adapt to school late. Because he may think that something bad will happen to him at school. The anxiety of the mother or father is passed on to the child. What anxious parents usually say is, "But I don't make my child feel my anxiety, he doesn't see me as anxious." Children are emotional readers. Even though the parents try to hide their feelings, they feel them.
Even though we make progress in working with anxious children, they may come back to the next meeting feeling anxious. It can be difficult to make progress because it is triggered by anxious parents. In this case, it is necessary to first work with the parents' anxiety. The child of parents who cannot cope with their anxiety may not be able to cope either. Every child wants to see his parents strong and competent. He feels safe when he sees his parents like this. Otherwise she feels in danger. Many parents bring their child's concerns and fears to a meeting without realizing their own concerns. Without managing the parents' anxiety, the child's anxiety There is no magic wand that will solve the problem.
Not every parent may have the opportunity to go to therapy. There may not be a center providing psychological services in the city where he lives. This article will include some suggestions that can help parents cope with their concerns.
7 tips for parents to cope with their anxiety
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Realize your anxiety and fears. Check whether the sentences you make such as “What if something happens to my child”, “What if something happens to him at school”, “What if they upset my child” are occupying your brain. Realize that your attachments control you. See if you are having anxious thoughts about yourself, your loved ones, and your child.
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When anxious thoughts start to come to your mind, you can do other things to change your mood. You can focus on doing housework, doing physical activity, or any activity that relaxes you.
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You can take deep breaths. Pay attention to whether you are breathing correctly. Think of it as if you have a balloon in your belly. Inflate the balloon as much as you can while breathing. When you exhale, lower the balloon completely. Check if you are taking short breaths. Short breathing further increases stress and anxiety.
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Test the reality of your worrying thoughts. Anxious people are already upset about things that haven't happened to them yet. They perceive it as if it happened to them. When your anxiety increases, say, “Nothing bad has happened to me right now. “I am safe.” Repeat the sentence.
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When your anxious thoughts increase, come up with alternative solutions as if the thing you are worried about has happened to you. Write these solutions step by step. For example; Think about what you would do in response to the thought "What if my spouse has a traffic accident?" Create action plans against possible crisis situations.
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Set a time for your worries. For example, produce all your anxious thoughts at 16:00. When you think of a different time zone, say "I'm sorry, I can't think of you until 16.00" and postpone it. Like this You won't struggle with anxious thoughts all day long.
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When you get anxious, notice your feet on the ground. Focus on those around you. Pay attention to the sounds. Tell me what sound it is. Name what you see. “There is a tree in front of me now. There is television. Notice that moment like, “There is this program on TV.”
Parents should first start helping their anxious children by managing their own anxiety. Several coping methods mentioned above can be applied. Try to find out who in your family is anxious. Remember that your child feeds on your anxiety.
If you think there is no anxious person in your family, it is also important who your child grows up with. An anxious caregiver or grandmother may also have caused your child to be anxious. In addition, a negative experience your child has had may also cause you to worry. They may have been exposed to natural events such as earthquakes or human-made experiences such as abuse. Your child's trauma may also cause him or her to be unable to cope with anxiety. In this case, you should definitely get help from a trauma therapist. Even if there is no psychologist in the city you live in, you should get this support from the nearest city. Anxiety will increase and challenge your child even more in later years. Factors such as memories, images and sounds that will trigger the trauma will bring about anxiety.
Your child will learn to cope with his anxiety from you. Seeing worried parents will make him even more worried. There are things that can worry any child. Depending on their age, they may be afraid of the dark, failure, or death. How you deal with periodic fears is very important. Worrying or overreacting to some of your child's questions will have a negative impact. During this process, you can read about how to treat your child's periodic fears. You should remember that every child may have periodic anxiety and fears. It is important to listen and try to understand your child's anxiety. He always wants to see parents who can manage their anxiety in front of their children.
Anxious parents i They must first manage their concerns for themselves. Because healthy parents are healthy children. Those who do not care about themselves should think about their children's personality development and lives. Anxiety is reflected in the child's emotional life, academic success, and business life in the future. Many parents bring their children to an interview because their grades are low. What they want from us is for their child to be more successful academically. However, because some of these children are anxious, they may slip up and make mistakes in the exam. In this process, we work with children on their concerns rather than their academic success.
Anxiety not only affects your thoughts but can also create some changes in your body. Rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, shaking hands, dizziness, etc. It is possible that your anxiety will increase when you focus on your body during this process. Instead of listening to your body, you should determine strategies to change your mood. Even though it is difficult, it is worth trying.
As long as you have an action plan about what to do when you are worried, it cannot control you. This is the magic sentence. Manage your anxiety rather than giving in to it. Every person can worry. You're not the only one worried in this world. At the same time, it's not just your child who is worried. Knowing what to do when you are worried or your child is anxious keeps you safe.
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