Social development processes consist of psycho-social development, social skills and social problem-solving skills. An individual's acquisition of social development processes positively affects his or her social development. Social skills are learned behaviors that enable a person to initiate and maintain communication with others. Social skills require the child to acquire skills such as positive interaction with other individuals, communication, listening, maintaining attention, and following instructions, with which he can successfully meet the expectations in his environment. Psychosocial development is the process of the individual developing sensitivity to the social stimuli, rules and obligations of group life, and as a result, becoming compatible with the people in the environment he lives in. Social problem solving is the self-directed cognitive and behavioral processes that enable a person to identify problems encountered in daily life or to find effective solutions or to adapt. Problems will begin as soon as the child begins social life. Therefore, we need to be patient regarding the problems our children face. We must encourage our children and give them the opportunity to solve their own problems. Children who are encouraged by their parents to find solutions to the social problems they experience are more willing to find solutions. He finds the opportunity to use his knowledge and skills. The biggest help we can give them in this regard is to support them in developing their perspective on solving their problems.
Thus, problem solving accelerates the development of the child's abilities, self-esteem and self-confidence, as well as accelerates his development as an individual.
When we encounter a problem, some of us try to solve it calmly and some of us try to solve it. He thinks that the problem is like a burden on our shoulders and gives up instead of solving the problem. Our approaches to this situation are affected not only by our temperament, but also by the education our family gives us. Problem-solving skills acquired at a young age play a major role in shaping children's own decisions in their later years.
Mothers and fathers generally try to intervene and solve problems themselves in order to prevent their children from encountering or having to deal with problems at an early age. . However, although this seemingly distances the child from the problem, it causes the child to encounter other problems in later life. The child grows up without learning to solve problems and make decisions with his own control and is constantly dependent on someone else's decisions, but one day when he has to make his own decisions, he does not know what to do and gets stuck.
The solution of social problems often depends on accepting and being responsible to others. It depends on understanding. The child, who is encouraged by his parents to find solutions to these difficulties instead of waiting for others to judge the difficulties they face, finds an opportunity to use his knowledge, understanding and skills while trying to do the job required by the current problem.
MOTHER IN PROBLEM SOLVING. -FATHER'S INFLUENCE
Parental attitudes are effective in the development of the child's problem-solving skills, as in all areas of development. Providing and developing opportunities for the child to establish healthy, correct relationships with both members of the family, peers and other people in later life are shaped by the attitudes and behaviors of the parents. The child learns how to behave towards others, He has to learn to cope with the difficulties he encounters in society. The responsibility of setting a suitable example in this area and shaping the child's social behavior falls on the family.
• Be sure to listen to your child in case of a problem and try to understand his needs and wishes.
• Summarize your child's thoughts to see whether you have understood them correctly. show it to him.
• When your children encounter a problem, they either attempt a solution, complain, or ignore the problem and avoid dwelling on it. You should encourage your children and give them the opportunity to solve their problems themselves.
You need to support them in developing their perspectives on solving their problems. Instead of directly telling him the solution, you should make the child think by asking open-ended questions. '
'What happened?' , “What is the problem?”, “What happened before ............ (e.g. he/she yelled at you)?”,
“........... How did you feel when ...... (for example, when he yelled at you)?",
"What happened when you ........ (for example, when you complained to his mother)?",
"You . How might he have felt when you did (complained) .......?",
"What was the result after you did ........ (complained)?",
“What else could you do other than doing ............ (complaining)?”,
“ Do you think doing ………. (complaining about it to someone else) is a good thing? idea? (If you think it is a suitable idea, you can say, “Then you can try this.”),
“Do you think this is a suitable place to ............ (to complain about him/her)? Is there a time
?”, “Can you think of a more suitable time for this?” etc. can encourage him/her to find a solution with questions and make him/her think about the issue. You can encourage . With such conversations, the child is directed to think about the reasons for his own behavior, the effects of his behavior on others, and the possible consequences of his behavior.
NEVER, NEVER SOLVE THE PROBLEM ON BEHALF OF THE CHILD.
Thus, the child will experience the consequences of the decisions he makes and find different solutions for the next one.
In such cases, talk about the results and ask
"What can he do to get better results?" or “How can you act differently next time?” Questions such as these may be asked. They can be made to think about developing different alternatives or different perspectives.
• Talk to each other about your child's feelings and needs. Try to find solutions by brainstorming with your child and write down all the ideas that come to your mind on a piece of paper with your child, review your list together and find the most suitable solution. • Give your child small responsibilities, so you can increase his self-confidence. A child who has self-confidence will be more comfortable when dealing with problems. • Ask your child about his/her own ideas, try to understand why he/she thinks the way he/she does after learning his/her ideas. A child who can express his ideas freely will be able to understand the importance of his own decisions when solving problems and will try to solve the problem with his own decisions.
INSTEAD OF GIVING THEM A FISH,
TEACH THEM TO FISH
• Create a problem-solving environment in your home through family meetings and by showing your children how you solve real problems in your own life. During this process, your children may have the opportunity to discuss a problem if they wish.
• Read various books to your child and talk to the characters in the book. Ask relevant questions. For example, the character in the book has encountered a problem, and you ask your child, "What would you do if you were in his place?" you may ask. This way, you give your child the opportunity to think about different problems.
Taking responsibility for your child's problems, protecting or removing them from environments where problems may arise, trying to make the environment problem-free in advance, and solving the problem on their behalf. However, although this seemingly distances the child from the problem, it does not prevent him from experiencing different problems and causes him to encounter many problems that he cannot solve in his future life. This makes children dependent on their parents and negatively affects the development of their problem-solving skills. Believe and trust your child. Support him with love and confidence so that he can succeed and go beyond his abilities. You are a model for your children in problem solving, as in everything else. Children learn to solve problems of others through experience, and by solving their problems, they can increase their self-confidence and improve their ability to express their thoughts and defend themselves. If children come up with the solution themselves, they are more likely to put it into practice. They are not very willing to adopt solution suggestions.
REMEMBER, A CHILD WHO CAN SOLVE PROBLEMS IS A HAPPY CHILD.
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