You are three and a half years old. You are the apple of your parents' eyes and the joy of your home. There are so many unknowns for you as you explore the world; Let alone knowing that there are no little men inside the television, it seems strange that the evenings are dark and the days are bright.
Like every child, you often make mistakes and learn as you make them. No matter how much trouble you get into, your parents tolerate and rescue you. The toys you broke are replaced, you are picked up from where you fell and asked "Are you a Uf?", and you are protected from all kinds of bogeymen. There are artistic nuclei in your scribbles that even you cannot compare to anything, philosophical approaches and "cubes of intelligence" in your most unlikely questions. In short, things are going well, because you are protected and cared for unconditionally.
Then one morning you wake up and want to call your mother like all the other mornings. However, something is not right; Just as you are about to say "Mom pee", you feel a momentary strain in your throat, your voice does not come out for a moment and the result is "A-A-A-Mom pee". You think that this will end here, that it is just one of your usual "clumsiness" and you don't care much, but you are wrong!
These difficulties continue to increase as the day progresses. Where did these come from now? Until yesterday, you could say whatever you wanted in one fell swoop. Now ice cream has become "do-do-do-ice cream", it has become a door "ka-ka-door"! It would be better if what happened to you remains with these; your mother, who used to come to your aid in every trouble you encountered, in every clumsiness, whenever you were in trouble, let alone helping you. , now he just looks at your face sadly! For the first time you feel guilty and helpless, since no one helped you, you must have made a big mistake!
You are five years old now. A whopping one and a half How the year has passed! Events have happened so quickly that you can barely remember how things got to this point. Since that unfortunate morning, you have found it more and more difficult to speak. At first, you were only repeating the first syllables, but this was followed by prolonging sounds. Instead of “A-a-mom”, “ You started saying "aaaaaannne" and "ssssssmilk" instead of milk. Later You have started to experience long-term blockages; Sometimes you find yourself stuck in a tight throat for three or five seconds before a word comes out of your mouth.
Your mother, who took care of all your problems before all this started, continued to feel sorry for you, but luckily your allies (neighbors, relatives, grandmothers) came to her aid with evil eye beads, amulets, bullets and all kinds of ammunition. raised by your mother. When these did not work, they helplessly joined the "choir of the regrettable" as your mother's headliner. Then your father took matters into his own hands and asked you "why you did this?" “What do you want?” “What is your real problem?” "Why don't you talk properly?" Oh if you only knew the answers to these questions!
As time went by, more aggressive methods were tried on you and the number of theories about “why you stutter” increased. According to rumors, what you need to do to speak without stuttering is roughly; It means not to get excited, to speak clearly, not to get angry, to spell out, to breathe deeply beforehand, to exhale deeply beforehand, to count internally, to count externally, to speak beautifully as before, to sing. The main reasons why you stutter are; evil eye, spoiled behavior, wanting attention, pretending, not having enough breath and of course "this child has nerves". When all these diagnostic and treatment attempts aggravate your condition instead of improving it, you are left with a prophecy that everyone, even the doctor you were taken to, seems to agree on: It will go away when you go to school!
The awaited time has come! All these great people cannot be wrong, this school has a miracle! Until now, the best solution you could find for your stuttering was "silence". In fact, this can be explained as not talking unless necessary, which is beneficial for most people. However, sometimes you have to talk and then you resort to the tactics that your elders have heard about. In order to calm down, not to get excited or angry, you take deep breaths and even close your eyes tightly before you start speaking. Sometimes internally, sometimes externally, you count with your hands and feet, keep a rhythm and try to speak. Network when you're blocked You open your mouth wide so that the word stuck somewhere in your throat can find its way more easily when it comes out of your mouth. You put your tongue into strange shapes, sometimes you click it, sometimes you fold it backwards; Who knows, maybe those words are stuck in a different part of your mouth rather than in your throat! None of them work, but you can't stop doing them because they have now become a part of your stuttering. Fortunately, your troubles will be over, because you are now a school student!
You're in luck from the very first day. Your classroom teacher quickly understands your situation. He seems to agree with your elders: It will pass when you learn to read. Your luck doesn't end there, your teacher is so understanding; He doesn't get you to the board as much as possible, he doesn't care if you don't raise your hand, and it's not your turn to read anyway. You may naturally learn to read a little later because you stutter, but what a shame! You can't make many friends anyway "because you stutter", but that doesn't matter. Once you learn how to read, you won't stutter anymore!
Now you've learned how to read! Unfortunately, you continue to stutter, but it shouldn't be like this! You have disappointed so many people, including your teacher! You know that if adults agree on something, it is right, and that is exactly the definition of right. In this case, the problem must be caused by you! There must be such a deficiency in you, such a big flaw that "even while reading, you stutter." You are already failing at school, even if your teacher does not criticize you for your faults and tolerates you, this does not increase your success in the course. He even took you aside a few times and tried to teach you how to speak without stuttering, but to no avail. Your visits to the school's guidance service could not take away this "excitement" from you. Ah, everything would be great if you didn't get excited, but...
Primary school is over, secondary school is over, stuttering is not over! You are in high school, but luckily you have a close group of friends now, thanks to your talents in other areas of life. Even if you stutter, they accept you and they don't mind you stuttering except for the occasional "joke". Your studies are not very good, but you still have choices in front of you. There are options. Something else has changed in your life. You now realize that you are not “stuttering on purpose” and that it is not your “fault”. You have been able to talk more openly about this issue with your family, and your family is "slowly" understanding this truth. Now you understand that the “grown-ups” cannot know everything. When you begin to understand all of this, it creates anger towards the past and rebellion against your stuttering. According to your family, being a "teenager" plays a bigger role in this. There is only one person who can solve this tense environment: a psychiatrist.
You tell your psychiatrist about your general feelings, the difficulties that stuttering causes you, and your anger towards your family's past attitude towards this situation. You say that sometimes when you feel comfortable, among your group of friends, you have less difficulty speaking, and that your stuttering increases when you feel nervous. You also add the famous slogan that has stuck in your mind from the past: “I wouldn't stutter if I wasn't excited anyway.” Even if your psychiatrist does not give you the answers you hope for, he prescribes a medication and monitors you. You really feel better when you start using the medicine regularly. Things bother you less. Contrary to what your mother said, you don't become a drug addict! Since you can evaluate your experiences more clearly, you relax and stutter less. Yet you continue to stutter! Your psychiatrist may ask, "My stuttering has decreased since I took the medicine. If we double the dose, will it go away?", "This medicine did not cure my stuttering. Should we change it? Naturally, it does not give positive answers to your questions and requests such as. After a while, he decides that you no longer need to take medication and stops the medication. On the one hand, you are grateful to your psychiatrist for feeling better, and on the other hand, you reproach him for "not treating your stuttering" (even though he never promised you this). Your psychiatrist adventure ends here.
Then one day you come across this advert stuck to a lamppost: "Stop Stuttering in 14 Days". Although you may find it strange that such an assertive sentence was photocopied onto A4 and pasted on lampposts, conspiracy theories that could explain this situation immediately come to your mind, because You want to believe this is real! Who knows, maybe the world of science and “Westerners” have actually found the cure and pill for stuttering, but they are hiding it from us. They already found the vaccine for cancer, but they were hiding it to sell medicine (of course, the Rockefeller family is also involved in this business). The person who hung this photocopy here may be a folk hero or mad scientist who refuted these conspiracies at the cost of his life. Otherwise there would be no “Money Back Guaranteed”!
You are now thirty. You have seen painfully that it is not a miracle. After those days, you gave up looking for a solution and accepted your stuttering. Strangely, as you did this, the intensity of your stuttering began to decrease. Yes, after high school, you couldn't take the police and military exams because you stuttered. You stayed away from professions that required you to talk a lot, but you realized that life is not limited to these and chose another profession that met your criteria. Even though stuttering is now a part of your identity and a normal thing, stuttering has re-entered your life with all its weight in recent months. The unthinkable has happened to you. Your child also started to stutter. That old guilt gripped you. Was your child imitating your speech? Was this your fault? Would your child have to go through what you went through? What should he do?
Although your spouse and family members were reluctant to accept that your child stuttered, this time you did not repeat the mistakes of the past and made the best decision and consulted a speech and language therapist...
Author's note:
In this article, I tried to summarize the "things that should not happen". What I am telling you is a compilation of events that have frequently happened to my clients. I did not want to convey much more tragic and sometimes humorous experiences because it would violate my clients' privacy and might offend some professionals who thought they could be "experts on everything."
What will happen after this point is not the subject of this article. Although there are scientific approaches and methods with a general framework that have been scientifically proven to be effective for stuttering and that we currently use,
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