Some of the people who go to a psychologist say "there is no specific reason", while others hold on to solid reasons. Whatever the reason, the main axis of therapy is not to change external conditions. What can be done about the conditions, organizing the environment, and problem solving skills are of course within this field, but the real change and development is achieved not by structuring the environment and painful resources, but by structuring the person's internal resources. Approaches such as "I was buried under the rubble during the earthquake, what can the therapist do about it?", "I lost my mother, what will change by talking?", "My wife cheated, a psychologist can only listen, he cannot know without experiencing it" come from not being able to determine exactly what the problem is and not knowing what therapy will serve.
Of course, most of the time we may have solid reasons that will affect our psychology. The psychologist can neither bring your mother back nor take you back to before the earthquake. However, it can intervene at the point where your pain turns into psychological discomfort. Pain does not = psychological disorder. If the duration of your justified and appropriate amount of sadness has been prolonged, its dose has increased, it has disrupted your function and its effect has spread to other areas such as self-worth, it means that something that extends beyond the pain of mother loss or the earthquake and that concerns therapy has been triggered. Therapy aims to put aside your pain appropriate to the situation, get rid of the excess, make peace with the rest and turn it into development. Our suffering has a two-pronged effect. The way we perceive and relate to pain determines whether we are on the progressive or regressive end of it. Every experience, including illness, is a life material, and when we know how to use it, beautiful buildings can be built.
As a result, the psychologist is the savior who solves problems by listening or talking; illness, a condition that is synonymous with suffering; The patient is a person who has no influence or share in the therapy process; the guarantee of well-being, freedom from all sorrows and freedom from anxiety; Happiness is not a feeling that can be presented to us on a silver platter and needs to be active all the time. Perhaps all of these beliefs have a common root with those that cause our illness. Maybe it is the "savior or enemy of others", the "savior of others", the "happy person" that causes us trouble in our daily lives. It is hidden in our beliefs that happiness is something that is offered from outside and that pain is unacceptable.
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