"I'm not working to make you do better at school, do well at home or cure you of an illness. I'm here to be 'what you are'." His wonderful words...
When one learns to be what he is, he chooses his freedom and becomes individualized. Instead of trying to be something for the needs or expectations of others, instead of doing something, he can make decisions about his own life by considering his own needs. 'Taking care of one's own needs' does not mean, of course, that it is selfish or violating people's boundaries for the sake of their own needs. Taking care of your own needs, "do I really want to do this?", "do I feel good here?", "is this really a choice I made on the inside?", "what good is it for me?" To be able to ask such questions. It is both to protect one's own boundaries and to respect the boundaries of others. Someone who can be 'whatever' can make choices and own their choices, knowing what they want and don't want. Most importantly, she knows how to say 'NO' when necessary.
Trying to make our children do things according to our own desires and expectations that we could not fulfill for ourselves in time, prevents our child from being an individual who can take responsibility for his own life in the long run. Our child may become a stranger to his own needs, able to exist by pleasing others. Maybe it will be as you want it to be, and it will be very successful, but if that's not where it wants to be, it's inevitable that it will encounter mental problems. He can't be happy, his past and future are filled with regrets... Ultimately, he is where you want him to be and your needs are met, but what are his needs, have you ever asked? Never say 'no, I don't want that.' Were you able to accept the 'no' when she said it? did you support him in doing something he was interested in, even if you sometimes belittle it or find it 'ridiculous'?
When we teach our child to be "whatever" instead of teaching them to be this or that, their self-esteem is enhanced and their self-esteem is enhanced. We raise a child who can make decisions. A child who grows up like this is the right name to realize their potential. May have the responsibility to throw people. He can gain a firm stance that can protect himself against abuse and manipulation from others. Let our children be 'whatever'.
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