Sometimes we see children who hide behind their mother's legs when they see someone they don't know, who are afraid to order at restaurants or enter crowded places, and who cannot make friends. These children avoid raising their hands even if they know the answer to the question asked by the teacher. Even though they seem quite well-behaved, this anxiety disrupts their quality of life and can also lead to depression.
These states of extreme shyness can be congenital or are also affected by environmental factors. Due to the anxious and panicking nature of the parent, the child may think that he or she will encounter danger at any moment. Or an illness, speech disorder, body deformity, being offended or harassed can also be effective in isolating the child and causing him to experience serious anxiety in front of society.
In addition, he thinks that everyone will look at him in a negative and unrealistic way. He/she may unknowingly give the opportunity to make the situation even more difficult by thinking that he/she will be embarrassed, scolded, unable to speak, unable to stand, or that he/she must do whatever he/she does without mistakes.
- If your child has these characteristics, what can you do? ?
First of all, it is necessary to recognize the reasons for the child's timidity and instead of these, more functional thoughts and behaviors can be developed. The best solution to such problems is to work with both the family and the child.
- Do not force your child for anything or label your child by telling him that he is a wimp, timid or shy.
- Don't get angry or dwell on it too much if his shyness persists. Give your child time to get used to the environment.
- Prepare your child before entering a new or unfamiliar environment. In a calm tone, explain in advance where you will be going and who will be there. Even visualize it together.
- Anxious and timid behavior of parents or people who care closely about the child will increase the child's uneasiness. Being comfortable communicating with strangers and not having performance anxiety on your child's behalf will be a good model for him and will relax him.
- Ensure that your child constantly acquires new experiences in safe environments and stay better step by step. Enter crowded environments. For example, invite child guests to the house. Or go to art workshops that children can attend with their families. The more social environment your child is exposed to, the fewer disaster scenarios will appear in his mind.
- Encourage your child. However, while doing this, do not put more responsibility on him/her than necessary by saying "You can do it, I trust you!". This may make him even more anxious. Ask where he wants to go.
- If you overprotect your child, you will prevent him from taking responsibility. You will help him escape from his fears, thus increasing his social anxiety.
- Remember that even five of your five fingers are not the same. Therefore, not every child is the same. Notice the positive characteristics in your child and share them with him/her.
So, what can you do if you had such a childhood and still continue to experience anxiety? That's for another article...
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