We talk about "boundaries" with many of my clients. I have some concerns about being able to say "no" to people, both from them and those around me.
"What if he doesn't love me as much as he used to when I say 'no'?"
"What if he leaves me when I say 'no'?"
"What if they think I'm a selfish person when I say 'no'?"
Some question marks may arise in our minds.
p>Sometimes we hurt ourselves so as not to offend or upset people. In fact, we are often unfair to ourselves.
For example; You just got off work and you feel very tired. You're dying to go home as soon as possible, throw yourself into bed and rest. All of a sudden your phone rings and a friend offers you to go out. You go out, wondering if he will be offended if I don't accept it. And you add more fatigue to your tiredness. You can't enjoy the moment you spend with your friend, and you can't get productive because you go to work more tired the next day. When you think this way, you actually hurt yourself the most. However, if you had refused by explaining to your friend that you were tired, maybe he would have sympathized with you and would not have been taken to you... Moreover, you have the chance to make up for this situation when you are more available. But some moments are irreplaceable.
Saying "no" to someone doesn't make you a selfish person. If you say "no" to someone and they walk away from you, sometimes it may mean that they are someone who should not be in your life anyway.
Being able to say "no" to someone will make people respect you more and be careful not to cross your limits. also enables it. It also increases your self-esteem and value.
If you have trouble setting limits on people, you can read books about it. I recommend the books titled "Healing Borders" by Psychonet Publishing and "Knowing to Say No" by İletişim Publishing.
If you still have difficulties despite all this, you can get psychotherapy support.
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