Vaginismus is a psychosomatic phenomenon in which the vagina and pelvis-PC muscles contract completely and involuntarily during sexual intercourse, making it impossible(?) for the penis to enter the vagina. Although its frequency is not known exactly, there is no doubt that it is becoming increasingly common. It often begins with the first sexual intercourse experience, and the same pattern is repeated in subsequent attempts. In fact, the soul remains contracted along with the body. Essentially, it is a picture of fear about sexual intercourse that is exaggerated in the inner world and fed by social superstitions. Especially in some young girls who grow up with myths such as "it will hurt a lot, it will bleed a lot" about the first night, sexual excitement and enthusiasm never arise. Therefore, it is not possible to transition to the arousal phase where wetting occurs at the beginning of intercourse. When the penis is forced to enter the vagina on the first attempt, a contraction occurs in the vaginal muscles. This first attempt is a very painful action. Most often, a second attempt is made and this time all pubococcygeal muscles contract as a whole. An accompanying panic attack (crying crisis, confusion and running away by pushing the partner) is often observed. Returning from here is no longer possible without treatment. The same picture will be repeated in every sexual intercourse experience.
It is seen that some points are overlooked in the medical definitions of vaginismus. Firstly, it is not correct to define vaginismus only as involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles. In vaginismus, all voluntary and involuntary muscles of the body and even the soul become rigid together. Secondly, it is not impossible for the penis to enter the vagina. The penis can enter the vagina, even if in a very traumatic way, which will cause the problem (rape) to become much worse.
WHY DOES VAGINISMUS APPEAR?
Vaginismus is actually a condition. It is a defense mechanism against threat. Sexual myths raised in the woman's mind and some fears arising from her partner or environment are the cause of vaginismus. Apart from this, young girls who grow up in families where femininity is highly despised may develop a reaction to being a woman, as sexual intercourse is equated with being a woman. Again, in such cases, vaginismus may develop as a defense mechanism (against being a woman). The woman with vaginismus actually unconsciously says, "I will not be like my mother." Rarely, excessive subconscious anger towards the father can also result in rejection of the manhood (husband) and penis identified with the father. Here too, the image of "all men are bad" has taken place in the subconscious of the woman with vaginismus. For whatever reason, forcing the woman to have a relationship without removing the feeling of threat and making the woman feel safe will not be humane in the first place.
WHAT DO A WOMAN WITH VAGINISM AND HER WIFE FEEL?
Women with vaginismus feel great shame. They feel like they were created with imperfections. The husband of a woman with vaginismus is usually a little angry. He thinks as if his wife is hiding something from him and does not approve of his masculinity. However, this is not true. Vaginismus is a state of panic that stems from fears that date back to childhood. A woman can only solve this problem with the support of her husband.
DOES VAGINISMUS DEVELOP LATER?
Of course, vaginismus can sometimes develop not only during the first sexual intercourse, but also much later. Vaginismus can also occur in a woman after traumatic violent sexual relationships or harassment-rape situations.
CAN A WOMAN'S WIFE ALSO CAUSE VAGINISMUS?
Of course. A man's approach to his wife can trigger viginismus. most k Trying to start sexual intercourse without foreplay by aiming only at coitus (sexual intercourse) due to sexual ignorance may cause contractions in the woman. Sometimes, if a man has subconsciously accumulated excessive anger towards his mother, he may symbolically hate all women. In this case, the man may unknowingly try to put his partner into vaginismus. Sometimes the man's verbal threats, especially threats of abandonment, can put the woman on the defensive, that is, in vaginismus. All this shows that vaginismus is never the problem or responsibility of that woman alone. Especially, it is not the woman's fault at all.
IS THERE A FAMILY, MOTHER AND FATHER ROLE IN VAGINISMUS?
Parents also play a role in the girl's life, which may cause susceptibility to vaginismus. can take. For example;
Teaching the child as if the vagina and genital area are something very dirty (may be caused by mothers with a cleanliness obsession)
Offering extremely frightening teachings and suggestions regarding the protection of the genital area and hymen (constantly "cleaning her legs"). (like the warning "Keep it closed!")
Excessive attachment to the father. Girls may sometimes subconsciously interpret sexual intercourse as betraying their father. They may develop vaginismus with a childish reflex.
Even the innocent touches made by the child regarding the exploration of the genital area are criticized and punished by the family in a way that will embarrass the child
If there is sexual abuse against girls within the family;
It would not be surprising if girls develop vaginismus in the future.
ARE DYSPARONIA VAGINISMUS DIFFERENT THINGS?
Actually, they are similar to each other and their causes are the same. are two different situations. In dyspareunia, the vaginal muscles are still contracted, but they can only partially allow penis entry. Due to this contraction, a In this way, a woman can have sexual intercourse even superficially, but she also feels deep and severe pain in the lower abdominal area (pelvis). This pain is felt every sexual intercourse. The paradoxical thing is that most women continue to have sexual intercourse despite experiencing this pain. Sometimes, suffering from this pain can be a self-inflicted punishment.
CAN VAGINISMUS BE TREATED?
Vaginismus is a problem that can be treated. The treatment process may take approximately one month. In this process, the support of the spouse and his/her acceptance of the problem as a common problem is a factor that shortens the treatment process considerably. The best part is that the couples who complete the treatment have extremely happy, peaceful and healthy family and sexual lives.
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS SHOULD BE REPLACED WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
The first step of vaginismus treatment is to correct the sexual myths in the woman's brain. It is very important to replace the myths such as "it will hurt a lot, it will bleed a lot, bombs will explode inside me, etc." during the first sexual intercourse, with the truth: "the vagina is an organ created to contain the penis. There is no room for pain, suffering or bleeding in sex, sex is a pleasant and pleasurable experience." . Again, whatever is in mind about the hymen myths is emphasized and correct information is given.
VAGINISMUS TREATMENT PROCESS:
First of all, how much negative is there in the mind about sexuality and sex? If there are any thoughts, they are all corrected.
Threatening resources that put the woman on the defensive, whatever they are, mental or physical, are eliminated.
Then, everything about male and female sexuality is done in the most accurate and most accurate way through shapes and models. It is conveyed in scientific form.
How do you exercise control over the pelvic-PC muscles? The woman is taught how to establish sexual intercourse.
She is enabled to discover her own body and sensations in the form of homework and individual exercises.
Exploration of sexuality is provided by doing exercises with a partner at home.
Again, gradually. Penis-vagina intercourse is ensured through homework.
*While all these stages are being implemented, a finger or any other foreign object is never inserted into the woman's vagina. Everything progresses slowly and gets better on its own at some point.
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