"It is not people's feelings or desires that cause problems in relationships (Wilei 1981), but the denial or non-acceptance of these feelings and desires leads to inadequate communication and escalation of interactional cycles" (Greenberg & Johnson, 2012)
Why do we give up our desires? Why do we restrain our emotions? For him...for the lover...in order not to lose him...
However, Greenberg and Johnson say exactly the opposite in the lines above... They say that the further a person gets away from himself, the further he gets away from his lover with the lack of communication he puts himself in.. .
In my opinion, the more honest a person is to himself, the more honest he is to his lover... the more honest he can be... the more a person can confess his wants and feelings to himself, the more he can confess to his lover... If it can be possible, the lover can be himself to the same extent...
Why do we keep silent in the relationship? Why do we give up our wishes?
For the lover... so how do we know that what your lover really wants is not us, not the real us... what we are trying to create? How do we know that you are not obsessed with that ideal lover but the real us?
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