Do not sacrifice yourself. Being devoted to the work you do, the relationship you are in, your family at home, and even your children, doing what is necessary with love and having a sense of responsibility, and self-sacrifice that can make you say "I brushed my hair for you" or "I lived only for them" when you cannot see similar sacrifices later on are completely different concepts. . What is healthy is being able to take responsibility for the choices we make in life and establishing healthy relationships in which you maintain the balance of giving and receiving.
Gain the ability to say 'No'. Being able to say no when necessary and putting your own needs first does not make you a selfish person. In fact, reluctantly saying yes will actually make you angry inside. Your reluctant yes answer can lead to anger towards that situation, job and person, and over time, it can reduce your self-esteem. Because what you really wanted at that moment was not to accept that situation, but you reluctantly said yes and saw others as more valuable and more prioritized than yourself, with dysfunctional automatic thoughts such as "What if I am not loved, what if my dignity decreases, or if they think I am bad and selfish", and this situation greatly annoyed you over time. It can stress you out.
Being flexible in life makes you strong. It is of great importance for both your mental and physical health that your adaptation process be rapid in the face of new conditions, that you are open to change, and most importantly, that you remember that we are human and accept that you may also have weaknesses, weaknesses, and failures.
Loosening your control belts will reduce the stress you experience. There are living beings other than us, events that occur outside of us, and a functioning order in the world. Doing your best and staying with the flow is an art. We must remind ourselves that there is no situation that can be 100% under control; However, we can follow the flow only after we take our responsibility and do our part.
If there are voices in your mind constantly whispering that you should not settle, stop and ask yourself. Who is this talking? The voices of your expectant parents who are not satisfied with any of your achievements or achievements in the past and compare you with others. Could it be? On the other hand, do you hear punitive parental voices telling you that you should punish yourself for the slightest mistake instead of supporting you to make up for it? Stop, think, and if you hear such uncompassionate voices in your mind, silence them. Realize that those voices are probably the thoughts and stereotyped beliefs that were tried to be imposed on you from childhood and adolescence, and they no longer have any functionality.
We are all human. We all make mistakes and have failures. Making mistakes and failing are feeding channels that bring those who intend to turn crises into opportunities closer to the truth. Treat yourself the same way you would when the person closest to you is very sad or sick. Seeing yourself as a bad person who needs to be punished when you make a mistake, and erasing all the good deeds you have done and everything you have overcome, causes you to evaluate yourself negatively and become psychologically distressed.
I would like to point out that this is not a recipe for happiness or rules that must always be followed. As a clinician, in the light of the schools I practice, I have made suggestions that you will experience as you apply them, making your life easier and more relaxed. People have changing moods and moods. We can all act outside of what is written from time to time. Experts consider the person as a whole and look at every aspect of their life. I wish you healthy days.
Read: 0
