Adolescence is a period where many changes occur. However, the change in this period is not limited to physical change. As the adolescent's body changes, his interests, behaviors and attitudes also change.
During adolescence, children begin to question their parents' behavior. The child, who until now thought that his own parents had behaved in the best way, compares them with other parents and criticizes them with adolescence. An important change during adolescence also occurs in social life. With adolescence, the child prefers to spend more time with his friends rather than his family, and begins to tell his friends about the things that bother him, not his parents. In addition, when the adolescent has problems with his parents, he receives support from his group of friends. It is very important for the adolescent to be liked by his peers and to be accepted by his peer group. During this period, unlike in childhood, the adolescent begins to prefer people with similar interests and values and to establish stronger emotional bonds with his friends. Friendships established during this period help the adolescent to individualize, develop problem-solving skills, experience new social roles, and prepare for adult life.
Adolescence is the period when conflicts with parents occur the most. But these conflicts are part of normal development. The fact that children never question themselves and their parents and never conflict may also be an indication of a problem. For this reason, parents should consider that their children's negative reactions towards them may be due to the period they are in.
Boundaries
During adolescence, parents oppose them, criticize them, make different requests than before, and are indifferent. child who behaves They may experience confusion about how they should behave towards others. During this period, parents should create clear and consistent boundaries. However, while doing this, it is not right to put too much pressure on the child or to release too much. Children who are restricted or given too much freedom by their parents may be more influenced by their peer group and engage in more risky behavior. For this reason, it is necessary to accept that the child is a separate individual, value his wishes and demands, allow him to express them, but set certain limits. The reasons for these boundaries should be discussed with the adolescent, his opinion on this subject should be listened to, and the boundaries set should be relaxed a little when necessary.
Listening
During adolescence, children need to express their thoughts that are different from their parents. Parents should listen to these ideas with an accepting attitude, make an effort to understand them even if they disagree, and should never try to force their own ideas on the child. Telling how to behave or giving advice should not be preferred because it will negatively affect the communication with the adolescent and cause him to share less with his parents.
Private Space and Privacy
A special area for adolescents It is very important to have space. With adolescence, the child begins to close the door to his room and use his room as a private area for himself, and may feel uncomfortable when others interfere in that area. For this reason, always entering the adolescent's room by knocking on the door and not intervening in the way he arranges his room as much as possible is a good way to show respect for the child.
Appreciating and Showing Love
The rapid pace of this period. Erg due to physical changes There may also be sudden changes in their emotions. Even though children move away from their parents during this period, they still need to feel their love as much as before. However, the way parents show their love should be a little different than in childhood. Because during this period, children may feel a little uncomfortable with words of affection or showing love through physical contact. For this reason, it will be useful to show love by listening to him, respecting his ideas, showing interest in the subjects he is interested in, appreciating his successes, and being understanding towards his mistakes.
Not criticizing
Children's clothing styles during adolescence. , interests, circle of friends, attitudes and behaviors may disturb parents. However, this is a period when children are very sensitive to criticism and are easily hurt. For this reason, parents should be careful not to criticize, judge or belittle their children.
Not putting pressure on their friends
During adolescence, children start to spend more time with their friends. It is a part of normal development that children feel the need to get away from their parents during this period. Parents, on the other hand, may be disturbed by their children's alienation from them and may want to intervene in their child's relationships with their friends in order to prevent them from being negatively affected by their friends. Not allowing the adolescent to choose his friends on his own and preventing him from meeting some of his friends often leads to conflicts. In situations where parents put pressure on their friends, children may be more under the influence of their friend group. For this reason, parents should respect the child's choice of friends, approach them with a more accepting attitude, and not put pressure on their children.
It is very important for the adolescent child to be honest with himself/herself. Not being sincere about any issue, trying to deceive the child, or giving incomplete information may cause the child's trust in his parents to be shaken. Even though telling the truth may cause conflict at that moment, it will help strengthen his trust in you and show that you accept his growth and value him.
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