I feel stiff even while watching television. I wonder what is going right in my life anyway. Yesterday I was called from my son's school. According to his teachers, there was a decrease in the last two trial exams. Oh my God... If he continues like this, I don't think he will be able to enter the university he wants. However, as parents, we do our best. I guess it won't be an ax to grind. Questions run through my mind. “I wonder where we went wrong?” Then I remembered that I needed to get the results of my blood tests I had done a few days ago and take them to my doctor.
My blood sugar was high, diabetes could not be diagnosed yet, and a few more tests were needed for this. I learned that it has to be done. I know how unlucky I am. Moreover, because I expressed this, my wife and I argued frequently. He offered to go to another doctor, but I did not accept. “What will doctors do when I have this bad luck?” When such thoughts attack my mind, my childhood comes to mind. Maybe my first disappointments... I was eleven years old. My sister and I were taking care of my mother, who was fighting cancer. We were hopeful, but his body was not responding to treatment. We lost him in a very short time. That day I realized that nothing will go well...
If you often think that you will not be able to achieve your goal while living your life and have negative expectations about the future, one of the reasons for this experience is the "pessimism" schema... This scheme It causes you to ignore the positive points in your life and exaggerate the negative events. It presents pessimistic ideas instead of optimistic ideas. The dominant emotions caused by the schema are anxiety and tension. We see that positive effects emerge if certain points we need in our childhood are met in order to become adults who adapt well to life. So it doesn't have to be perfect. The answer to the question of what a child needs for his development actually lies in a number of universal needs that every human being needs to be met. A child primarily needs to feel safe, autonomy, self-esteem, self-expression, realistic boundaries, and connectedness with others. is. If these are met, the child's psychology will progress healthily. If it is missing; Early maladaptive schemas formed by the damaging effect of these unmet needs develop throughout life. These are our core beliefs about ourselves that are difficult to change. They are self-destructive patterns that begin in childhood and repeat throughout life. One of them is the "pessimism" schema.This schema allows you to see the negative side of events. If triggered frequently, it brings unpleasant emotions. When depression and sadness recur, they can be replaced by depressive symptoms. Pessimism acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Over time, you may find yourself struggling with learned helplessness. Somehow difficulties always find you. Because you see the downside when faced with challenges, the results may not be as bright even when success is attainable. There is an idea that you can prevent these negative situations that you expect to encounter by worrying in advance. When anxiety and anxiety dominate your body and mind, it will not be possible to prevent negativity and it becomes inevitable for you to deteriorate your physical health. The "pessimism" schema is common in individuals with emotional deprivation. Individuals who constantly complain about something and expect their needs for love, attention and understanding to be met under this complaint are examples of this. What could be the origins of the "pessimism" schema that has such a negative impact on our lives and physical health? One of the answers to the question is to have experienced serious difficulties in childhood (illness, death, etc.).
These difficulties experienced in the early period of life can make the individual lose his optimism and gain a pessimistic perspective. Therefore, it is a difficult scheme to combat. However, the pessimistic parent may be taken as a role model and the individual's behavior may be shaped accordingly. When struggling with the "pessimism" schema, remember that just because you have experienced sad events in the past does not mean that sad events await you in the future. Instead of complaining about life, decide what you want and need. Remember that pessimism will have a heavy toll. Take refuge in optimism…
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