Today, I started writing to explain the word therapy, away from technical language and theories.
In these periods when the word "get therapy" was circulating in every language, those who used to go to therapy felt the need to hide it. These are related to the perceptions of the period. Because it is short. A long time ago, when you were asked if you should go to therapy, the most common word was "Am I crazy?" However, I don't think crazy is neither smart nor well-defined.
When I ask my clients who come to therapy, they tell me that they came just to look for a solution without knowing much about therapy. They are right, I wish we could inform more society about what is what within the scope of social responsibility projects, so that everyone can benefit from it.
When I ask what therapy is, I say this in its simplest form. We are all born in different families and from the moment we are born, we learn everything that happens in the environment. We start recording it. Here, a child records the audiovisual and emotional influences he receives from his parents and from his environment as he gets older. I think of it as if it were a CD. He tries to apply his whole life in line with the emotions, information and communication in this recording. This is actually all, and we are not aware of it.
Whatever the parents do, they get a child who lives by following these records. Then, because they develop and change over time, I think it's like they don't like the child who lives with that CD they wrote. Of course, this explanation is completely practical, far from technical.
If you tell the parents that the program works with your recordings, none of them will accept it, and we are also faced with saying that if we are wrong, they should do the right thing, but those changes are not easy, a technical work is needed here, this is where therapeutic studies come into play and changing what is in that CD with what the clients want. We call the work done on inspiration as therapy. This is the truth.
In this written program, I would like to touch upon some of the most important points that affect the child's life. Ex: Have you made the child feel how much he is loved or that he is cared for whenever he needs it?
I'm sure the answer to this question from parents is that we loved our child very much, we cared for him very much, we sent him to the best schools, we didn't do anything but what he said...... it goes on and on. In my question, I didn't say whether you loved it, I said how much you made the child feel it. We are sure of this, every mother. A father loves his child, but it is important how much he makes him feel. Did you show love when you wanted or when he needed it? Also, did you care when he needed it or did you care when it was convenient and according to your own wishes? How consistent are you in this communication of love? While giving love at one moment, this behavior is similar at the next. It seems to be turning into anger. Generally, due to cultural codes, if he realizes that we love him very much, he gets spoiled, his father kisses him in the evenings when he goes to bed, he loves, oh, one shouldn't be so insolent with his children, etc. We come across words like that. Is this the truth? Not in our opinion, these are just cultural approaches, but since we do not question whether these are right or wrong or whether they suit us, we accept them as they are, just like we do not question what happens in general.
Providing love as it should does not make the child neither rude nor spoiled, friends. Only in the future. It helps us to have children who do not suffer from love hunger. In the same way as showing interest, parents are obliged to show their attention whenever necessary. The gain of this will make them feel that they will be with their children no matter what happens in life, that they will love them, and that they are safe and with them under all circumstances.
To love and care for their children only when they behave the way they want. It is necessary to know that it will turn those children into people who submit to everything, adapt to everything, and cannot say no in order to receive love and attention throughout their lives. Just as they try to do everything they are told to receive love and attention in the eyes of their parents, they will do the same to gain the favor of others.
Ours It is said that she cannot say no to anyone, be it a girl or a boy, she makes them oppress her, etc. You should ask them, was she able to say no to you? What happened when she tried to say no, or did she know it would happen when she was a child?
I will continue what we work on in therapy in the coming days. The ABCs of this work are to introduce ourselves to you. I would like to give you my most practical starting words that will help us realize it. After washing your face and brushing your teeth every morning, please ask yourself what do I want to do today? This is a start. I hope you live a life of love and peace.....
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