In this article, what you need to know for a happy marriage, what are the secrets of long-lasting happy marriages? I will be touching on topics such as the psychology of happy marriage.
In your marriage or relationship life, you will experience many periods of ups and downs in your emotions. In some of these periods, you will find yourself in a spring or sunny summer month with the scent of fragrant flowers. But sometimes, such a cold atmosphere affects your relationship that everything freezes and you don't know how to get out of this process. In fact, such a hopeless atmosphere emerges as if there was no way out. Every relationship goes through good and bad periods. Even in a period when you think you are in a very good period, everything can turn upside down, and in a period when everything seems very bad, things can suddenly fall into place with some efforts. Every relationship has its own unique dynamics. But if you cannot nourish your relationship in a healthy way, you may move from sunny, warm days to a climate where the leaves suddenly turn yellow and fall, and the weather becomes cloudy and rainy.
The Most Cruel and Cold Periods of Relationships: Dark Winter
If you are one of the couples experiencing these cold days in your relationship, you generally try to stay away from almost everything that disturbs you. There is a freezing coldness in the air of your relationship, and you often turn within yourself to warm up, and you want to see a sign of warming in the air. You don't want to go out unless it's warm. Just like waiting for the month of April... But you avoid taking any steps to bring the relationship to that warm weather. However, if some precautions are not taken to overcome the problems in a relationship, leave aside the possibility of the relationship to improve, everything will get worse.
If you are going through a similar process, you may tend to be destructive in your behavior, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. And as a result of this tendency, you may exhibit violent behavior, say words that will upset your spouse or partner, and be hurtful. Of course, in addition to all these problems, naturally there are communication problems and unconstructive behavior. When arguments and critical words are added, the relationship takes a serious blow. The process, which initially started as just verbal abuse, may turn into physical abuse after a while, and the last drop may overflow with "infidelity" problems.
Couples experiencing such a turning point experience pessimistic feelings in their relationship and begin to be cruel to each other. At first, everything seems to start just verbally, then emotions begin to change and separate, and unless a solution can be found, they begin to avoid being in the same environments (separation of bedrooms may occur in married couples). Even though the couples in this process may not realize it, they are actually separated from each other emotionally, sexually and physically. The only thing left is their legal separation.Unfortunately, if there is no effort to blow some warm winds in a short time, this is also a phenomenon that will happen. This turning point is also a difficult one accompanied by feelings of double helplessness.
Periods of Breaking Moments: Spring Months
These periods of partnerships have both positive and negative sides. . You can also travel from a period of cold winds to spring, where you can cultivate many feelings of beauty, love and hope. While experiencing the beauty of summer heat, you may experience a breaking point, stumble in the relationship and encounter the sorrowful clouds of autumn.
What about you; What stage of your relationship are you in?
Are you at the stage where you are trying to move from freezing cold to a mild spring weather?
Or are you at the stage where you suddenly regress towards autumn from warm, sunny weather without understanding what is happening?
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The Warmest and Most Beautiful Moments of the Relationship: Summer Season
If you are one of the couples experiencing this period in the relationship, you will experience a period where you feel very happy, realize that you are satisfied and at the same time feel successful. You are experiencing a process of togetherness. Even though everything looks so good, you should not forget that this period also has certain risks. While you are dreaming of eating beautiful fruits in the summer months, poison ivy, which you never expected, can come and entwine the fruits. It's like considering the truth... If you don't water the buds that bloom in your relationship sufficiently and at regular intervals, your buds will remain where they are without opening.
The relationships of couples experiencing this period resemble a flower both when viewed from the outside and when you enter inside. They smell wonderful and look great, but they need to be watered. Couples who have managed to experience this warm atmosphere in their relationship for a long time are the couples who have learned how to maintain this happiness they have achieved. They did not neglect to nurture this unity and were open to continuous development and learning in order to maintain this happiness, and searched for new ways.
Here Are Some Secrets of These Relationships
1-Constructive Communication:One of the most important skills in a happy relationship is that couples can talk and discuss with each other in a healthy way. During the decision-making process, couples make certain cultural and traditional promises to each other. But there are a few more extreme issues that need to be mentioned. The first of these is that you can leave the door open in any way, regardless of the situation. So, if an action taken or a word spoken by one of the couples offended the other, the offended party will be able to explain this situation to the other person, and the other spouse or partner will promise to be eager to listen to this issue. Another issue is that no matter what, you should not go to bed with that anger and resentment at the end of the day when you are angry or upset with each other. Take the risk of being sleepless until the morning and staying awake throughout the night, but do not risk going to bed angry and resentful. Do not allow the resentment to enter your bed.
2-Accept Your Differences:
2-Accept Your Differences:
strong>You should know that there may be issues that you cannot agree on in your relationship. I tried to communicate and said what I had to say. Trying to get out of the situation by saying that the issue is over for me and what I say is already accepted will only be an attempt to justify yourself and satisfy your ego, but it will not solve your problem. Every individual has differences and these differences are what make us who we are and what makes us special. r, and it is often these differences that draw us to each other. In a relationship, you should give your partner the freedom to be different, to think, feel and react differently. There is a famous line in the movie "Every child is special". It is tried to explain that every child has different characteristics and; "Even 5 of the 5 fingers on your hand are not the same. "Push and pull if you want, try to align them, your fingers will break." Like every person, your spouse/partner will also have shortcomings. But there are also positive aspects... If you try to pay attention to the positive characteristics of each other instead of the differences in each other, if you try to increase your savings in the love bank of your relationship, if you strive for this and try to eliminate the deficiencies in this area, you will begin to realize that your spouse or partner will meet your needs more sincerely and more easily. you will start. It is better to do something and fail in life than to succeed by doing nothing. Take a step towards this.3-Spend time together:Couples may go through difficult times in their relationships. Sometimes they may argue with their family circle, move to different cities, and if they are married, they may have disagreements about raising children. However, no matter what, see these struggles as situations that will put your togetherness on a stronger foundation, and in any case, be together at least a few days a week; Doing an activity together, even if it is going for a walk, going to the market to buy bread, or sitting side by side watching a movie, will make you happier and strengthen your love, as a result of numerous studies. As long as you are close to each other and touch each other, you will make your love and relationship more enjoyable.
4- Confront Your Past Mistakes:Couples who constantly stumble in their relationships need to understand this issue very well. Everyone can make mistakes, and indeed they do.
So, have you been able to forgive the mistakes your spouse or partner made?
Or that these mistakes can be forgiven. Do you think?
Or, instead of forgiving these mistakes, you will reveal them in every large and small argument you may have. Are you keeping it secret just to forget?
If you are in a period of cold winds blowing in your relationship, remember this! First, each of the couples should identify the mistakes in their own past and spend more time on this issue in order to process them, express their regret in some way and at the same time be able to forgive. It is easiest to tell your spouse or partner the mistakes they made. What about your contributions to the emergence of this problem? Problems in a relationship are never one-sided. Both parties definitely contribute to the emergence and subsequent development of a problem. But this contribution is sometimes 10%, sometimes 50%, sometimes 90%. These contributions sometimes come from the words you say, sometimes from your reactions, and sometimes from your lack of communication.
With all the emotional resentment experienced, this is not an easy process. However, if you fail to do this, you may not be able to move forward in this relationship. If you have too much difficulty, I recommend you to seek expert support. Otherwise, this unity may not have much meaning. It may even have ended, but you have a hard time admitting it.
5-Break the cycle of negativity :First of all, we need to accept that we often have negative thoughts. We often find reasons to rationalize and excuse our negative thoughts. We even say to ourselves, "If he treats me like this, how could I react differently?" Finding a logical excuse for such approaches we exhibit is nothing but taking the easy way out.
In order to solve the problem, we must first try to gain the ability to think positively. Because at every breaking point, there is a party to blame, and if this continues to appear in our minds in the form of automatic negative thoughts, unfortunately, thoughts can turn into actions after a while. So, at first you just think, but after a while you start to believe what you think, and these thoughts you believe in begin to direct your behavior. But if we can turn our thoughts in a positive direction, this will also affect our actions positively.
In order to create this positive effect, we can start by identifying the positive aspects of your spouse/partner.
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