The way we exist, love and realize ourselves is different in many ways depending on whether we are male or female. What's going on with the femininity department at this point? Is identity gendered? I wanted to share one of my reference books that I have highlighted, which also deals with the construction and structuring of feminine identity, intergenerational transfer and its appearance in psychoanalysis from a clinical perspective.
A chapter written about female analysands who "came back" after the psychoanalysis ended was one of the parts that caught my attention about the subject of mourning. At this point, the following question arose in my mind: What analysand does not go back and forth and find himself in the unpredictable swing of change that is characteristic of analysis? What analysand can't help but think about the day his analysis ends and wonder if he'll ever see it again? Fortunately, even though the analysis is paused during long vacation periods, we have the opportunity to think about it in the analyst's absence, and the analyst's spiritual capacity is always next to the person as if it were an inner voice.
Analysis is a period in which the imaginative capacity that the analyst carries and distributes is taken away from the analyst and used for his own originality. Although the definition is incomplete, it is a special kind of spiritual work that considers the unconscious relationship established with the internal object through the use of the external object, that is, the psychoanalyst.
The process of ending the analysis refers to the management of autonomy or dependency regarding the methods that lead to separation from the first object - the mother. So, what do women who come to see their analysts want from their psychoanalysts? Jacqueline Godfrind mentions that the end of their analysis leaves these women alone and faced with the realization of a functioning altered by the analysis. They have now "changed". They took on newly acquired or enhanced resources on their own through analysis. In these flashbacks, there is a relapse of guilt in the face of personal, sexual gain. The cry for help in this flashback relates to real or imagined estrangement from the mother.
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The return of the female analysand and the desire to see her analyst again It brings us to the relationship with the mother, which is linked to love and plays an important role in the construction of femininity. The analysand
may come to see his analyst again to make sure that what he is performing on the transference mother is harmless. At this point, there is a question that must be considered: What happened in the early days of the mother/baby encounter that left its mark on the way the girl deals with her attachment to and separation from the mother? In this case of return, the unique nature of the love and hate experience of the unconscious fantasies that feed the mother's investment in the baby girl may have been triggered. This investment of the mother in the baby girl is a bipolar phenomenon. The mother's love expresses itself through the recognition of the gender of the daughter, who is perceived as the same, identical and similar and loved in this way. On the other hand, this little girl, who will become a woman in the future, is felt as a rival. Therefore, there is a fundamentally contradictory investment. The daughter's identification with the mother makes her an ideal person for affectionate closeness, but at the same time, it also brings with it alienation as a possible rival. The mother's first love for her baby is marked by the baby's gender. The mother's love for her baby girl is guided by identification with the similar. It finds its basis in bodily identity. This similarity is reflected in the mother's statement, "I know what is good for you better than you because we are both women." At the same time, every difference can be equated with competition. Triggering the experience of being confined to the early period with the penetrating power that targets all differences, conflicting desires for genital femininity, that is, experiencing love in difference or difference in love, is a dilemma that has existed for the girl from the very beginning.
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In these returning female analysands, there is an autonomy, the bearer of a feminine that undergoes differentiation from the mother and at the same time taking on her qualities. Depending on the choice, a guilt also manifests itself. They may come to make sure that using reclaimed resources does not destroy their analysts. Because sobriety reactivates the aggression associated with genuine "abandonment," loss They take action to regain a love they fear, but also to demonstrate a gesture of loyalty. Perhaps the analysand, with the guilt of this autonomy, wishes to meet again with another woman who is able to understand him.
Godfrind sees that confronting this analytical mourning is inevitable, that coming back is neither an extremely bad thing nor an extreme addiction, but rather a structuring attempt that demands help from a rival, equal and loved woman. He mentions that it is important to hear the love in his complaints and demands.
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