When we look at the meaning of the word sexuality, it is defined as 'the whole of sexual characteristics' in biological science. In other words, it is used to describe breed-specific characteristics. According to the Turkish Language Association, it is defined as 'the feeling of lovemaking'. This definition can create a confusion of meaning for sexuality. If sexuality is defined as a feeling of lovemaking, this may suggest that a libidinal pleasure or feeling experienced alone cannot mean sexuality. For example, masturbating may be perceived as a non-sexual act. Therefore, if we are talking about human sexuality, we will need to expand this definition a little further by separating it from the act of reproduction. So, human sexuality can be briefly defined as 'the effort to satisfy libidinal pleasure without only the act of reproduction'.
Sexuality is a definition that occupies an important place in our lives. If sexual behavior is a role assigned to us in our life movie, this movie should also have a script. We can call the script parts that are related to sexuality sexual fantasies. Then we can conclude that sexual fantasies are necessary for the integrity of our life scenario. In this article, we will discuss when sexual fantasies are necessary, their limits, degrees of normality and in which cases they become sexual perversion.
Are Sexual Fantasies Necessary?
We mentioned above that sexuality is an important role in our life scenario. This shows us that sexual fantasies are an important part of our lives. Imagine having a sexual experience without any thoughts in your mind. It will be a situation that cannot go further than just physical contact. Now imagine doing this the same way your whole life. Isn't it depressing to even think about? If we are talking about a feeling of pleasure and pleasure satisfaction, we will need to embellish this satisfaction in order to experience it in the best way. Just like the salt, spices, etc. we add to the food we eat. We call these ornaments sexual fantasies. If we are going to talk about a good sexual life, we can say that sexual fantasies with which we embellish it are also necessary.
What are the Benefits of Sexual Fantasies?
Sexual fantasies are intellectual and behavioral scenarios necessary for high-level satisfaction. It can also be experienced just on the basis of thought, without necessarily putting it into action. It can be experienced individually or between couples. It can add color to a monotonous relationship, increase harmony between couples, enable couples to get to know each other better, and strengthen communication. A more comfortable sexual life means easier communication. It can take the concept of skin harmony to further levels. It can enable couples to better know and understand each other's sexual worlds. A good sex life can make it easier for couples to solve the problems they experience with each other and the outside world. Sexuality becomes a very difficult situation to share because it is a concept that every individual experiences, but is often not talked about as if it is not experienced at all, and is often shamed when it is mentioned, and is seen as a taboo. Fantasies about sexuality, which is a difficult situation to even talk about, are not easy to express between couples. If it is not expressed, sexual life becomes boring and monotonous after a while. Some fantasies can cause misunderstandings and judgmental attitudes between couples. Fear of judgment may prevent sharing fantasies. Communication between couples may be restricted as a result of not being able to share such a desired and desired situation due to fear. Just think, if you are afraid to share the thoughts in your mind even in a situation where two individuals are in extremely close contact with each other, it means that you will try to prevent many of your thoughts while communicating and will not be able to express them. In short, the way to good sexual communication is through sharing fantasy worlds.
Sexual fantasies are not something that only occurs between couples. It can be constructed individually in the same way. The world of sexual fantasy can be as wide as a person's imagination. As the person discovers the world of fantasy, he will also discover his own world of sexual pleasure. This may gradually increase the level of pleasure satisfaction. Better individual sexuality means a better quality of life.
When Do Sexual Fantasies Become Dangerous?
Of course, in its simplest form, a sexual fantasy becomes dangerous when it becomes uncomfortable for the other party. If these fantasies begin to reduce the quality of life individually or if they become an excessive preoccupation, we can say that they have begun to cross the danger limit. Not every fantasy constructed at the level of thought needs to be put into action. Sexual satisfaction can also be increased with thought. If the person has difficulty controlling these thoughts and cannot control his urges not to take action, alarm bells are ringing. Imagination has no limits, and it is impossible to know a person's dream world unless it is expressed. Sexual fantasies that take place in this dream world may contain personal secrets. When you begin to lose control of thoughts that may disturb the other party or cause legal problems when taking action, it may be necessary to seek expert support on this issue. When the world of sexual fantasy exceeds boundaries, it can also create danger in the inner world of an individual person. For example, situations such as porn addiction and pursuit of objects of sexual arousal can reduce a person's functionality and impair his quality of life. Imagine a person who is only aroused by people wearing tight pants. Since he will realize most of his sexual fantasies in this way, he will have difficulty in experiencing sexuality outside of this situation, and in order to achieve satisfaction, he will pursue this and devote a significant part of his thoughts and time to these pursuits. As we said, the fantasy world has no limits, our behavior has limits. Sexual fantasies exist to take our lives and pleasure satisfaction to a better and higher quality level. To summarize, when the fantasy world begins to negatively affect our real world, the danger limits have begun to be exceeded.
What is Sexual Perversion?
According to the latest diagnostic guide (DSM-V) of the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the conditions referred to as sexual perversion or 'paraphilia' are under the main headings; voyeurism, excitatory disorder, frottorism, sexual masochism, sexual sadism, pedophilia disorder, Fetishism disorder is classified as transvestite disorder. Apart from these cases, new definitions of sexual perversion are added to the literature every day and they are encountered quite frequently. Sexual pleasure from the dead (necrophilia), sexual pleasure from animals (zoophilia), sexual pleasure from food (cytophilia), sexual pleasure from pain (algolagnia), sexual pleasure from blood (hematolagnia), sexual desire from ghosts (spectrophilia). ), sexual desire for shoes (retifism), and sexual pleasure in harming other people's bodies (pikerism) are some of these. In other words, we can call paraphilias sexual object selection disorders. Paraphilia conditions may vary according to cultures. Some sexual behaviors may not be considered deviant in some cultures. It usually starts before the age of 18 and is most common between the ages of 15-25. The incidence is higher in men than in women. The reasons for having paraphilic disorder are not yet fully known. People with paraphilia disorder generally have difficulty experiencing sexual arousal naturally except in these situations. When they have difficulty controlling their impulses, they may encounter moral or legal problems. Even if a person with this type of problem does not disturb another living being, he/she may experience problems in terms of pleasure and satisfaction in his/her inner world. He/she may devote a significant portion of his/her time to such sexual pursuits in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. He may encounter serious communication problems in his relationships. For this reason, paraphilias often need expert support. Paraphilic behaviors can also be seen in some psychiatric conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and substance use disorders. In our world where sexuality is considered a taboo, it will not be easy for a person to express such sexual thoughts and behaviors, even to an expert. The pleasure derived from sexual fantasies can reach the level of perversion when it brings along impulsive and difficult-to-control behaviors. In more advanced cases, it can go as far as harming others. People with paraphilic disorder very rarely see a psychiatrist. They are usually taken to a psychiatrist during a judicial process when faced with legal sanctions. They reproduce. These people may be judged by society when they ask for help. Such an approach will cause the person to end his request for help and continue his actions. Imagine you are trying to control an impulse and you want help. When you think that you are judged, excluded, and not given a helping hand, and you cannot receive the help that you see as the only way out, you lose the opportunity to take control of your impulses, and this despair may result in your impulses taking action. The best approach would be for people experiencing such situations to first be evaluated by an expert. These people may not consult a psychiatrist for fear of not being understood or being involved in a legal process, but a psychiatrist is obliged to act in accordance with ethical rules in order to protect his patient and other people in such situations. With this obligation, he/she will make an effort to start the treatment process. The primary approach in the treatment of paraphilic disorders is with psychotherapy techniques. The technique to be applied may vary depending on the person and the situation. Drug treatments can be effective, especially for people who have problems with impulse control.
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