Motherhood is a condition unique to both human beings and animals, which is considered sacred all over the world. However, although what motherhood entails and its limits are not exactly clear, all humanity has thought about this throughout history. 'Am I a good enough mother?' This question is actually frequently asked to mothers by the environment in different ways. Sometimes a woman's motherhood is tested with questions such as 'is your milk coming?' sometimes 'isn't this child still talking?' and sometimes 'you go to work, but won't this child's being away from his mother have a bad effect on him?' In fact, these and similar questions always haunt the minds of parents and make them feel inadequate. Is it a deficiency to be good enough when it is possible to be perfect? Most of you know that when we try to do a job perfectly, we either get bogged down in details and cannot finish the job, or we leave it unfinished when we realize that it will not be perfect. In fact, parenting is such a normal situation, no matter how perfect we try to be, we get bogged down in details and despair when we realize that there are always much better options than what we can do. These options may sometimes be to buy the best, highest quality items for the child, sometimes to send them to the best schools, and sometimes to be able to meet their every wish. This situation does not always have to be financial; You may have difficulty fully responding to your child's desire to play games with you all day and not to be separated from you. As child psychoanalyst D.W.Winnicott said, 'the characteristics of a healthy individual's life are fears, conflict of emotions, doubts, disappointments as well as positive characteristics.' Even though we want to protect our only child from the negativities of the outside world and embrace him with as much goodness as possible, in the real world, all of these are intertwined. And our child must eventually adapt to this world. So, what will be the negative effects of this? I can hear you asking... Maybe understanding this fully will help us be 'good enough mothers and fathers'. A woman devotes herself to her baby for the first few months after birth. However, in addition to being a full-time mother to her little baby, the mother also has a business life and a life that she must devote to her husband and other children. For these reasons, the mother She has to return to her old routine and devote less time to her baby. This may sound negative, but it is actually necessary for the baby to adapt to external reality. While the baby, who is fed immediately in the first months, waits for the mother to feed him after a few months, he tries to be satisfied by imagining his mother and her milk in his mind, and his crying threshold increases over time. It's just like when we feel overwhelmed with work, we think about our best vacation and feel relaxed for a while. All these mental preoccupations and designs are very important for the baby to develop the capacity to be alone in the future. Likewise, the baby's creative capacity begins to develop with these representations he creates in his mind. Let's not forget that no invention is designed without feeling its deficiency! That's it, dear parents, instead of trying to be perfect, maybe being good enough is what we need. See you next week, stay with love
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