We live in a time when the number of divorces is constantly increasing and relationships end very frequently. After the days of excitement are over, the parties meet each other again without their rose-colored glasses. Some people find harmony, some say they don't know you, and some continue or end their relationship with arguments and fights. Even though everyone's choices and ways of experiencing love are different, they are all the same in one respect; Fights and arguments are a must in all relationships. So why are you fighting with the person you love so much? From not getting along? Let me answer, no…
The reasons for the end of relationships are the increase in fights and the stereotypical words we call severe incompatibility. If you think that the reasons for fighting are different for everyone, you are wrong...
Some of you may extend the list as jealousy, some of you as irresponsibility, and some of you as intolerance. But even though the words are different, they all serve the same purpose. Your relationships are not destroyed by your fights, but by failure to meet mutual emotional needs. For example, fighting with your panther because of jealousy or lack of time may be related to your need for value, not by sharing it to feel it more, but because you want to feel the intensity directly on yourself. Irresponsibility can be related to whatever emotion you have. If you expect more attention but you cannot see it, we blame the deficiency on the other party by calling it irresponsible. How do you feel about "his" irresponsible behavior? What is it about this feeling that bothers you so much and causes fights? However, the emotion you feel belongs to you and there is a need for completion... Or you cannot tolerate it and want the power to be yours, and this may stem from your perception of inadequacy and your need for a feeling of sufficiency.
As a result, at the end of all this, we fight by saying "YOU YOU YOU". However, how does it make you feel that "he" is like this? What feeling does it evoke in you? It's easy to blame, of course, but your emotional needs, which you yourself need, feel less of, or have dulled from your experiences, are one of the biggest causes of quarrels... So much so that relationships are actually incompatible. He doesn't stop playing; Failure to meet these needs mutually leads people to quarrels and we say that we could not agree and broke up. Yes, you partially disagreed, but what you disagreed on is that both parties cannot express themselves consciously about what they need and how much of it they meet and how they meet it... That's why you need to first discover yourself and know what you really need in a relationship. Do you want to start your relationships out of psychological need or with the intention of sharing and completion? When a relationship starts superficially by taking on the desired roles in order to be able to take part in society, be happy, have a good time, and feel safe, relationships unfortunately end in the short term. In fact, going on emotional exploration together with the need to be like ourselves (approval, value, appreciation, love, trust, sharing) will enable you to take solid steps for relationships. In particular, mixed wants and needs need to be considered separately. Which emotional need does your desire for him to call you 5 times a day meet? When you can find and express this, you will be left with the awareness that you actually need other things, not being called 5-10 times.
Therefore, you can start by distinguishing between your wants and your needs.
Read: 0
