SEXUAL FUNCTION DISORDERS 1 – VAGINISMUS
“It has been 1 month since we got married, but we have not had sexual intercourse yet. My husband is a patient, good person. He treats me well, he doesn't force me. He says we will get over it slowly together, but I see him thoughtful lately. We need to overcome this problem as soon as possible. I'm afraid that he will become alienated from me and leave me. Actually, I'm not shy or anything. We did not try to have sexual intercourse during the dating period. We had experienced little things related to sexuality. I liked it too. I know, sexuality is a part of life, but when it comes to sexual intercourse, everything changes. A great fear fills me. My friends who have been married before also say that there is not much pain during the first sexual intercourse. They say that sexual intercourse is an enjoyable thing. I guess it will be like that too. But come on, explain this to me. My wife tried penetration once, my legs shook, the idea of a penis going inside me makes me feel bad. It's like I'm going to lose my mind. I am so cramped that it is not possible for my wife to enter. I'm not being stiff on purpose, I can't help it. It is okay to undress, get into bed, touch my partner, and have him touch my body. But when it's time for intercourse, I turn red and want to run away from the bed."
"Doctor, we just got married last Saturday, it's been a week. But our marriage has come to an end. We had an arranged marriage. We were engaged for about 10 months. We warmed up to each other. I love my wife. I thought he loved me too. He was a very caring, loving person. We couldn't have sexual intercourse the first night. He said, "I'll have a wife, it's because of excitement." We tried for 3-4 days, how many times. I'm getting very excited. My legs are cramping, I can't open them. I can't give my wife permission, I can't help it. Then my wife started getting angry asking why you don't let me. It has changed a lot. That calm man left, another came in his place. He tried to break in a few times, but when it didn't work, he slapped me and insulted me. It hurt so much. Still, we couldn't have sexual intercourse. My mother-in-law said to my wife yesterday that she must be hiding something. They say that I am not a virgin and that I am afraid that this will be revealed during intercourse. There is no such thing, I am a virgin. "If it doesn't happen tonight, my wife will divorce me."
" These days, I started to sleep a lot again, my head is off the pillow does not applaud. I'm not in any mood. I'm fed up. I don't enjoy life at all. I had such a depression 2 years ago, I was treated and recovered. Now he repeated it again. I couldn't tell my previous doctors, actually I have a problem. I guess I can't be okay until it's resolved. I doubt it will be resolved either. I have no hope at all. But I have to say it now. We have been married for 6 years. We have 2 children. My wife and I got married because we fell in love with each other. We fought hard to come together. My wife is very understanding. She takes care of me and the children. He has no outside life. But even though 6 years have passed and we have 2 children, we still haven't had sexual intercourse. Isn't it weird? We struggled a lot in the first few years. My excitement, contractions, and fears always prevented us from having sexual intercourse. We went to a few doctors, but I guess we couldn't do exactly what they said, we couldn't get any results. Then we gave up. We also have a sexual life. It's okay for my partner to touch me. We make love, we give pleasure to each other in other ways. We also orgasm. But login is not possible. My wife has accepted it now. Even if we feel something missing inside, we do not avoid touching each other. Because we still love each other very much. I got pregnant when my husband ejaculated on my genitals. Our children turned out that way. But I feel inadequate and guilty. It shouldn't be like this when we love so much."
"My wife and I are both educated people. We know very well that sexuality is a natural part of life. It's been 6 months, we still don't have full sexual intercourse. I am not someone who is cold towards sexuality. I also get pleasure while making love. But when it comes to the entrance, I'm out of breath. It's like I'm going to die. My heart starts beating fast. A fear, an excitement. . I know, I read it on the internet and in books. Relationship is not a painful situation. But I still can't convince myself. As time went by, my wife also started to have trouble. His sexual desire has disappeared for the last month. He didn't have any problems before. Now it can't harden fully. Everyone gives advice. Some say that intercourse can take place while you are asleep and under anesthesia. I don't understand this. I think that when I wake up, my fear will still be there. Some people claim that surgically cutting the hymen will help. But that's not what's stopping me, it's my fear. We decided to go to a psychiatrist before it's too late. . My wife is also waiting outside. I can call you if you want." Growing up in an environment where there is high levels of pressure and hearsay and superstitions are rampant can be considered among the most important causes of vaginismus. It is reported that it occurs in 1 in 10 women.
Participation of the spouses together in the treatment is necessary. After first collecting detailed information, the physician will reach a conclusion about the spouses' personality characteristics, communication styles, emotional transfer and interaction, and will determine whether there is an accompanying physical or psychiatric disorder. Then, following the treatment of any accompanying disorders, elimination of communication problems and conflicts between spouses, the couple will be informed in detail about sexuality and relationship at a medical level. Sometimes even providing information and a trusting environment may be sufficient to solve the problem or contribute significantly to the solution. By giving exercises and homework within the scope of behavioral-cognitive therapies to the couple in full cooperation, the problem is solved step by step, usually within about 1 month.
Wishing you a happy, fearless, peaceful sexual life...
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