Families having problems in their marriage, under pressure from others, often assume that a child will be a solution that can save the marriage, with thoughts such as "If I had a child, my spouse would be more interested in me." But the truth is; Having a child increases the commitment of parents to each other in healthy relationships, but having a child in an unhealthy, not going well marriage will put the family in a more difficult process with the responsibilities that the child will bring. Children require great responsibility, and families who are not ready for this assume these responsibilities and focus only on the child, which will reduce the interaction between the spouses and may lead to a lack of communication between the spouses. So, what are the signs that marriages are starting to break down?
Symptoms that indicate that a marriage is starting to break down
Being able to maintain a marriage is as important as getting married. What could be the reasons for marriages not working out?
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Trust; It is indispensable for a relationship. Trust is actually the surmountability of problems in marriage.
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Communication; It is not only talking but also understanding, listening and empathizing with each other.
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Differences; Even though you may have similar aspects at the beginning of your marriage, over time your thoughts and cultural values may come into conflict.
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Economic difficulties; Unnecessary expenses and credit card debts are among the most common discussions. The first and most important thing to do for this is to plan the joint expenses of the couple.
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Sexual problems; While sexual life is good at the beginning of marriage, it decreases over time due to some problems encountered in daily life. In this case, the partner may think that he/she is disliked and worthless.
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Cheating; Sometimes, partners change their perspective on marriage as they feel emotional closeness to someone else as a result of wanting a difference and excitement in their lives, and unfortunately this brings about divorce.
When Should Divorce Be Decided?
While divorce may sometimes be seen as a healthy solution for spouses, sometimes it can have unhealthy consequences. Sometimes divorce happens While it is the right decision, sometimes not divorcing is the right decision. For this reason, the divorce process needs to be reviewed again and again. Every marriage should go through its own process and should not be mixed with other families. In order for the divorce process to be healthy; Not making a decision for divorce during the discussion, ensuring emotional and logical unity, taking the opinions of the children if there are children, not making decisions during periods of psychological discomfort, allowing 6-12 months for the decision process, spouses trying to live apart for a while, getting counseling services and re-making the final decision.
Should Marriage Be Continued for the Child's Sake?
Many studies have shown that the question mark in the minds of many couples who have reached the divorce stage is the happiness of the child. is being driven. But how healthy can it be for the child to continue the marriage in an atmosphere of family disputes, in an unhappy marriage where no solution has been reached? Divorce does not always have a negative impact on children. The important point is to manage the divorce process well, not to ask the child to take sides, and not to use the child as a reason for divorce. Children in unhappy marriages have more behavioral problems than children in divorced families. For this reason, continuing an unhappy marriage just for the sake of the child is not a solution in a marriage where every solution has been tried but no solution has been found.
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