Adolescence, which can be compared to a bridge between childhood and adulthood, is the period when the search for identity begins. During this period, the adolescent is building his adulthood. He discovers himself; He tries to understand who he is, what he likes, what he wants to do, which profession he should choose. Beginning to think more broadly and differently; Life is quite complicated for the adolescent with increasing responsibilities. While trying to adapt to the new system, which includes a lot of change, it may falter and be difficult.
You parents have some responsibilities in getting through the period in a healthy way. Half-child, half-adult, adolescent needs parental guidance. Parents should be role models for adolescents who are approaching adulthood step by step, and should prepare them for life with the right approaches. Adolescents who are prepared for the adolescence period by their families and receive emotional support from the family can adapt to this period more easily. For this, parents; Before their children enter adolescence, they need to be informed about what awaits them and their children in this period.
The first symptom of adolescence is physical changes. physical changes; cognitive, social, emotional, sexual and psychological changes follow. During this period, adolescents; he sees himself in the center of the world, always on the stage, under the spotlight. Along with bodily changes, the anxiety of being admired occurs, he is very interested in himself and his appearance. Time spent with peers increases, peers take a more directive position compared to family. Time spent with family is reduced. The adolescent withdraws to his room, closes the door, enjoys being alone.
Adolescent; He thinks that he has grown up and become an adult, that he should no longer be seen as a child, that he should be more free. In the adventure of seeking identity, the adolescent begins to reduce his dependence on the family, but is not yet ready to be independent. Therefore, parent-child conflicts are quite common in adolescence. Hormonal changes also lead to emotional changes in adolescents. adolescent; It is confrontational, sensitive and touchy, inclined to give intense reactions. Attitudes and behaviors of adolescents, sometimes referred to as "rebellion, rebellion" by parents, are actually a part of the change. Parent-child ar It is an abnormal situation not to have conflict, but not to exist. During this period, it may be difficult to communicate with the adolescent. Being understanding, empathetic and more tolerant will enable you to establish good communication.
Adolescents should be approached considering that they are going through an intense period physically and psychologically. Your approach will shape the communication between you and your child. If you are open and honest with your child, your child will be honest with you. If you do not respect his feelings and thoughts, if you do not listen to him, he will approach you with the same attitude and will not listen to you. Trying to give advice instead of trying to understand can drive your child away from you. The adolescent you want to approach and direct with your own truths thinks that they are not understood and may limit what they share with you. The first step of a healthy communication with the adolescent is to allow him to express himself, listen to him and try to understand him emphatically. Communication does not only include speech; It also includes spending time together, participating in and sharing their interests.
Children need to be loved and loved by their parents, no matter how old they are. Unconditional acceptance forms the basis of child-parent communication. Adolescents should know that they are loved unconditionally when things go wrong or fail, that they can get help from their families when they have difficulties, and that they will not be judged when they make a mistake. While creating this atmosphere of sincerity and trust, the following should be considered; Trying to understand the child does not mean that you are his friend. Friendship and parenting are different from each other. A child may have many friends, but only one parent and needs them. Disciplinary problems may arise if the boundaries within the family are stretched. It is wrong to limit too much, to adopt a rigid approach, to allow too much independence and to be overly tolerant.
For healthy discipline, it is important to decide the rules together with the child by explaining the reasons and purposes, and to act democratically. Clearly establishing boundaries made adolescent feel safe It also strengthens the relationship between you. In cases where you do not consent, it is important to explain your decision with reasons. Getting angry with his style, his decisions, his friends, the time he spends at the computer/phone; If you prevent the adolescent from you, it can lead to the emergence of lying behavior. If he does not harm himself, he may be allowed in such cases according to the family's limits and rules. You should not follow an oppressive attitude in the decisions he will take, and you should not make decisions on his behalf. Academic life and career choices are now the responsibility of the adolescent, you should respect their decisions. Especially in choosing a career, you should support him to guide himself, and you should not interfere with his search. The profession that he will be happy and will love; He has to choose the university he wants to go to. Your attitude towards academic matters should also be similar. You should encourage him to take his academic responsibility, and make sure that the language you use is constructive while trying to help. Instead of tagging with sentences like “You are unsuccessful, you are lazy”; “I think you did not study well enough for this exam. Why could this have happened?" It is a more correct approach to ask questions like, identify the causes and support for a solution. In such cases, it is necessary to focus on the process, not the result. Even if the result is far from the desired, the effort made in the process should be seen and appreciated. Teenagers can make mistakes sometimes. Mistakes should be seen as a tool to reach the truth along with the lesson learned. The family should be aware of this and approach the child from this window. Parents' support is also important in discovering what he likes and finding his interests. Nurturing himself in the areas he loves will increase the child's self-confidence and motivation, and will be an important resource in this process. Some of the problems experienced during the period are normal, while others are situations that need to be taken for the future. Introversion, loneliness, problems in anger control, problems in academic life in adolescents Problems such as bad friendships, alcohol-smoking and substance use, technology-social media addiction, constantly unhappy and depressed mood, eating disorders, social anxiety can be seen. The adolescence period determines what kind of an adult an individual will become. For this reason, it may be good to get support in order to advance this process in which adulthood is built in a healthier way.
Read: 0
