Opressive Authoritarian Attitude
It is a common attitude in the traditional Turkish family structure. Overly repressive authoritarian attitude; It is an attitude that does not attach importance to the child's personality. Due to the strict discipline applied by the parents, the child is forced to obey every rule.
Parents who adopt this attitude do not think that their children are different individuals from themselves. The main characteristic of this attitude is the pressure shown towards the child. Parents believe that they have absolute control over their children. There are rules that are made without any explanation. Children must unconditionally follow and obey these rules set by their parents.
Authoritarian parents use their love as a reinforcement for the formation of desired behaviors in the child. If the child behaves the way the parents want, they show their love. They see themselves as representatives of social authority and expect absolute compliance from the child. The person who holds authority in the family is against the development of an independent self; Everyone is expected to submit and be obedient.
There are also problems between such oppressive and authoritarian spouses. Mother and father do not communicate in a good and healthy way and there are problems between them. These problems affect mother and father communication and interaction as well as their relationship with the child.
The essential thing for authoritarian parents is that their children obey them. The child's wishes do not matter here. Mother and father do not listen to the child and do not try to understand him; Instead, they criticize him and try to control him through pressure. The important thing is to fulfill the wishes of the parents. They try to make the child do what they want and give him the shape they want, through various orders and strict rules. Such mothers and fathers lack warmth. What matters to them is their own wishes. Disciplinary methods such as punishment are used very frequently. According to such parents, the most important virtue for the child is to obey the parents and do what they say. They frequently use methods such as
Overprotective Attitude
Protective attitude is a form of approach that is as common as repressive and authoritarian attitudes in our country. Parental overprotection means giving the child too much control and care. As a result, the child may become overly dependent on others, insecure, and emotionally frustrated. This addiction can last throughout the child's life and he/she may expect the same feeling of protection from his/her partner.
The instinct of protection is one of the important motives that parents have for their children. One of the main duties of parents is to first meet the basic needs of their children and then protect them from dangers from the environment. However, some parents exaggerate this situation a little and treat their children as if they need constant protection. Even if their children have reached adolescence, such mothers and fathers do not give up their interventionist and protective attitudes. These types of families always act as if their children are in a hostile environment, or they worry that their children will not be able to do anything on their own, and for this reason they show extreme affection towards their children. also affects its development. With the wrong and overly protective attitude of the mother and father, who have a major role in the social development of the child, the child cannot gain self-confidence and is not given the opportunity to become an entrepreneurial and social person as an individual.
Lax Attitude
A child-centered attitude is often seen in families that have children over middle age and in families that raise the child as the only child among a large group of adults. In such an environment, all other family members are indifferent to the child's wishes. Because the child has become the only person who has a say in the family environment. Lack of healthy communication between parent and child, growing up in an environment of exaggerated love and pampering of the child causes the child to become an insatiable person. Children like this fulfill all their wishes throughout their lives. While they think that their rights will be met, when they become adults, they attempt to recognize the rights that society does not give them. While family members should behave in accordance with their roles, the child's taking over all the sovereignty causes him to dominate his parents and show little respect.
In the free attitude, the child is granted numerous rights. There are no boundaries set in the child's behavior, and the child does not obey those rules and regards the rules as false and wrong. Instead of the child being shy of the mother and father, the mother and father are shy of the child. This attitude appears to be child-centered. Children who grow up with this attitude are not obedient, they are irresponsible, selfish and spoiled.
Inconsistent (Unbalanced and Unstable) Attitude
The most important feature of this type of attitude is that parents are dependent on what the child does. They do not interfere at all. Whatever the child does is welcome. The relationships of such families with their children are weak. Sometimes they are indifferent to the child and have weak emotional bonds, and sometimes they are warm and close. The child is not under any supervision. In this regard, children suffer from a kind of lack of family authority. The child does whatever he wants at home. He eats whenever he wants, studies whenever he wants, and sleeps whenever he wants. Every behavior of the child is entirely according to his/her own wishes. Such children cannot learn to control their own desires and desires, and therefore they encounter various problems in the outside world. So, such children face various problems when they leave their homes or participate in social life. The biggest problem is that the permissive attitude at home is not found in the outside world. In this regard, these children who grow up with such a permissive attitude become disappointed in the outside world. These types of children lack the ability to control their own desires and desires, and in this regard, they cannot be successful, especially in jobs that require persistence and concentration. They are used to living according to their own wishes, and therefore they cannot be successful in school life or business life.
An unbalanced and indecisive attitude that negatively affects the child's education and development in many ways. He appears in front of the child. Imbalance and inconsistency may arise from the difference of opinion between the parents, but also from the variable behavior patterns shown by the parents.
Perfectionist Attitude
Parents with this attitude expect their children to be very successful and to be pointed out around them. These parents are usually parents who grew up under difficult conditions during their childhood, or who later attained a good status or economic level, or who were in a competitive and comparative environment. Some people want their children to achieve goals that they themselves wanted but could not achieve due to some obstacles. They raise their children not in line with their needs, but in line with their own wishes and expectations. These parents are hard to please. They often compare their children to other children. They become demoralized when their children do not show interest in the activities they suggest. They approach the things they will eat and even with whom they will be friends in a critical manner.
Missildine (1963) argues that perfectionist families do not approve of their children's behavior and encourage them to do their best, resulting in the child not feeling satisfied and their behavior not being good enough for their family's approval. expressed their pressure. Thus, the child never feels a sense of contentment, his behavior is never good enough for his parents' approval. He believes that perfectionism is based on limited parental acceptance and insistent parental demands. He stated that perfectionist families not only belittle their own failures, but also find it difficult to accept and reward their children's efforts.
Children raised with this attitude focus on conditional love. They think that when they are good, their parents will love them, and when they fail, they will not love them. They also adopt this type of love. They approach people with conditional love. Usually these children are perfectionists and do not accept mistakes. Even though they achieve success in school and business life, they have difficulty in human relations. They want life to be perfect, but life has a different side They become unhappy when they encounter the family.
Democratic Attitude
In the democratic attitude, the family's attitude is based on love and independence. Parents give their children the right to speak, respect their decisions, cooperate with them, support their children, and these children are observed to be more independent, outgoing and creative. Democratic mothers and fathers are said to guide children's behavior more intelligently. Democratic parents accept their children as a separate person. They value their children and support them in developing autonomous and independent personalities. These types of families are tolerant towards their children and respect them as human beings. They restrict their children very little. They allow children to fulfill their desires as they wish. They do not ignore the child's wishes for acceptance and approval. They support the child's unique development. Such families allow their children to self-actualize. While doing this, they do not forget or ignore that each individual is unique and unique. In this regard, the child receives enough tolerance from his parents. This greatly helps the child to become a self-confident and social individual
The child is free within certain limits. They have the right to speak and their feelings and opinions are respected. The child receives love and respect from his family. What they say is listened to by adults. The child who benefits from this environment in which he lives exhibits entrepreneurial characteristics, becomes self-confident and learns to make his own decisions and take responsibility for these decisions.
Rejecting Attitude
This type of attitude This attitude mostly appears in cases where the child is not wanted. This occurs in an extramarital relationship or an unwanted pregnancy. Apart from this, other problems originating from the mother and father may also cause such a rejecting attitude to emerge. Children raised with this kind of attitude lack any love and care. The child is often given the feeling that he/she is not wanted by the parents. Such attitudes can be expressed in many different ways. The child hurts
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