The satisfaction of a child's three psychological needs will determine the child's resilience to psychological trauma throughout his life. People are affected differently and react differently to the same events. The main reason for this difference is that people's psychoimmune systems are different. These three psychological needs, which we will talk about shortly, are the basic elements that form the building blocks of the psychoimmune system.
The World is a Safe Place Need for Belief:
The mother's womb is the safest place in the world for the child. The zygote formed as a result of fertilization immediately forms the placenta, which will be its home in the mother's womb. The placenta will be the child's home, protecting it from physical, chemical and psychological harm, nourishing it and meeting all its needs throughout its journey in the womb. The child feels very comfortable and safe here. The child is born from this protected environment into the world with everything open and unprotected. He believes that the world is a sheltered and safe place. However, quarreling parents, parents who are uncertain about what to do when, and the presence of a mother who is insensitive to their wishes and needs fundamentally shake the child's belief that "The World is a Safe Place." People with one of the anxiety disorders usually describe their memories with the following expressions about their past:
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I was terrified that my parents would fight again.
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When my father came home, we would look for a place to hide.
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My heart was pounding because I thought something would happen at home at any moment.
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Never. I couldn't feel safe at home.
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Our house was a war zone.
Similar expressions can be multiplied.
I Am Loved Belief Need:
Loving and being loved is one of the most basic needs of a human being. A person cannot learn to love without learning to be loved. A person must first feel that he is loved, and his need to be loved must be met unconditionally and unconditionally so that he can learn to love. Usually we love the way we are loved. If we have beliefs such as "If I don't do this, my mother won't love me" or "If I do this, my father will love me", then receiving love is conditional. However, no matter what happens to a child, under no circumstances Without it, one must have the belief that my parents love me. A person who is loved conditionally will also love others conditionally. Conditional love brings insincerity and leads to attachment problems.
I am valuable Belief Need:
One of the most important problems expressed by people who apply for psychotherapy, especially as a couple, is "my partner does not value me." ". Someone who does not feel valued in childhood develops a belief of "worthlessness" and does not realize this even if this person is valued in later years. If a person who has a belief in worthlessness is shown the behavior and attitude of valuing him, he will misinterpret it even if it is expressed verbally. Because the filters formed in it have caused perception distortion.
The belief that I am valuable is possible when parents make their children feel valuable. Valuing means showing that a person is valuable through attitude, behavior and words.
People face various difficulties every day, some overcome these difficulties with effective coping strategies and continue their lives. Others are traumatized by difficulties and their lives are disrupted. As the number of these traumas increases, their daily functionality decreases and symptoms of various psychological disorders begin to appear. The capacity to develop effective coping strategies is directly proportional to the satisfaction rate of the three psychological needs listed above. In other words, if a person feels safe and believes that he is loved and valuable, he can easily cope with the difficulties he encounters.
People should not despair if three psychological needs are not met during childhood. Because the capacity to rewrite one's own personal history belongs only to human beings in nature. While writing personal history can sometimes be achieved by the person himself, sometimes it can be achieved through an effective therapy process.
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