On Peer Bullying

The word peer means equal in terms of age, profession and social status. Bullying means using force on others by using force, intimidating or threatening.

What we call peer bullying; It means using force and brute force by a group or person against a group or person through words, physical contact or aggressive behavior, and affecting the other person negatively.

To make it more understandable, let's give an example. ;

Calling someone names, making fun of them, mocking them, threatening them, harassing them, pushing them, hitting them, asking for money by force, and humiliating them are considered peer bullying.

In order to call it peer bullying, a bully is a bully. There is an imbalance of power between those who behave and those who are exposed to these behaviors, bullying behavior must be done consciously and constantly, and these behaviors must be intended to intimidate and harm.

The person who does the bullying is called the bully, and the person who is exposed is called the victim. The child who exhibits bullying behavior is either stronger or perceived as such by the victim. There is no previous provocation.

It can be seen in all age groups, both in kindergarten and high school years. In studies, the rates of exposure to peer bullying vary between 8-40%.

Excessive anger and emotional stress are seen in children who are the targets of peer bullying, and these behaviors make children who exhibit bullying behavior a constant target because they provoke them. These bullying behaviors create behavioral and emotional problems in victim children.

Who do bullies choose as victims?

If children who are not accepted and rejected by their friends and peers are socially inadequate, it becomes easier for them to become victim candidates. Children who travel alone or have few friends are at higher risk of becoming victims. Children who display bullying behavior often choose children like themselves as friends. In this sense, having one or more friends is protective against peer bullying.

So why does a child bully his/her peer?

By putting pressure on his/her friend and pulling him/her down, he/she puts himself/herself against other friends. among whom he wants to be superior

Because he saw and learned the pressure element as a way to solve problems in his family or environment.

Because he thought that the victim deserved the pressure he put on his peer or the victim.

Bullying behavior. How is it seen?

Physically bullying behavior;
Pushing, pulling, tripping, kicking, punching, slapping, spitting, pulling hair, scratching, taking belongings by force

Verbal bullying behaviors;
Name-calling, swearing, mocking, making fun of, saying words that harm one's dignity, insulting, gossiping, threatening

Emotional bullying behaviors;
Not talking, excluding, leaving alone, making people do hard work,
not including them in activities, not helping them

Sexual bullying behavior;
Sexual remarks, molestation, groping

 

 How do we know if a child is exposed to bullying behavior?

A negative experience that a child has never experienced before is a very stressful situation. Especially if the person committing bullying behavior is someone from his class or school, the first feeling will be malaise, unhappiness and disappointment. If bullying behavior continues, the child's self-confidence may decrease. Their social relationships may deteriorate.

The child thinks about how to avoid being the target of bullying behavior, is busy and cannot adapt himself to lessons. Therefore, a decrease in course success may be observed. There are concerns that they will be exposed to the same behavior again and again. He/she may refuse to go to school to avoid being subjected to the same behavior again. Reluctance and alienation towards school may be observed. While preparing to go to school, he moves slowly and does not want to go. If the process progresses and cannot be treated, school phobia may occur.

You can look at the advice to parents and suggestions against school refusal in my article titled "Starting school".

You can also review my article titled "Sexual abuse in children and ways of protection".

6 basic rules to prevent peer bullying.

In order to prevent peer bullying, the primary target is to help children from their early ages, first with their parents at home, and during the school period, with their parents. Social rules and moral values ​​should be taught by teachers and guidance services.

Children take loved ones as role models. That's why every parent should present himself as a suitable role model for his child. In other words, a problem at home should be solved without resorting to violence. Let's not forget that change needs to start from ourselves first.

As a parent, you should cooperate with the school, get information about his/her situation at school within certain periods of time,

Talk to your child constantly, pay attention to the events he/she tells, Let him share his feelings. Make him/her feel that you are with him/her under all circumstances and that you value him/her.

It is necessary to teach moral rules such as being honest, being reliable, not lying, not touching someone else's belongings without permission, asking for permission, and apologizing when necessary.

It is necessary to teach certain rules of behavior such as obeying school rules, being able to wait in line, and controlling one's behavior.

Peer bullying should be strictly supervised in schools

There should be monitoring systems in schools. It is necessary to provide appropriate supervision, both with technological machines (camera systems, detectors, etc.) and with people responsible for security within the school.

A child who is exposed to bullying behavior should immediately tell his parents, teacher or someone he trusts about the situation. The person who witnesses bullying behavior should also immediately share the situation with his teacher or someone he can reach safely.

It is important to organize group activities where children can enjoy together. (sports, drama, etc.) It not only enables children to bond together, but also increases their solidarity with each other by enabling them to act together within the group. Protect them from being alone.

Stress management, anger management and communication skills should be taught to children through in-school training. Problem-solving skills should be increased and they should be encouraged to resort to non-violent means in the face of a problem.

Teachers and administrators at the school should frequently check risky areas such as corridors, sinks and gardens where bullying behavior is likely to occur during lunch breaks and class breaks.

Students at school If an incident has occurred between privates, the families of the students who were involved, witnessed and exposed should be notified, informed about the situation, and their help in the solution process should be requested.

Peer bullying mediation program should be implemented. This program aims to solve problems among students with the support and help of their friends. They are expected to discuss the problem behavior with their friends and come up with solutions on how to solve this problem.

If your child has become a victim of peer bullying or shows bullying behavior, be sure to contact a specialist to get psychological support.

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