Have you ever thought about why today's relationships are short-lived and why they cannot be permanent? Or if you thought about it, what were the answers you came across? Excess of options, waiting for the person who will be the best for him/her, desire to have better things, social environments... in short, love for "fast food". Relationships that are quickly formed, easily adapted and easily consumed. Unfortunately, today's relationships have become like this. We exaggerated our self-esteem and began to want only our own interests, needs and desires to be met, without caring about those in our mix. And as a result, we began to form relationships that started and ended quickly and could not gain momentum from superficiality to depth.
There are certain building blocks to running a relationship. Love, respect, loyalty, trust, dedication, happiness... In today's relationships, what we need to do is no longer to know these building blocks, but to learn where we should put these stones.. We all know these, but because we 'sometimes' confuse when and how we should use them in the relationship, our relationships change. We are also experiencing problems.
In fact, if we can suppress our need for a "fast food" relationship, we will learn how and where to use the building blocks.
The first step in this phase is to be confident and know what you want... Saying that I can't stay committed, I'm cheating, I want him to be in my life but I also want to have different relationships means not being confident for now and internalizing 'fast food' relationships. It means I still live in this kind of relationship. That's why knowing what we want at the first stage is of great benefit to us. Afterwards, we need to keep some things alive in order to make our relationship work.
Activities done together, beautiful moments shared, things enjoyed together... Repeating these at regular intervals will not cause monotony. On the contrary, it will lead to a constant flirting phase in your relationship. It causes emotions to be refreshed and revitalized. It is necessary to spontaneously repeat the activities that you miss and enjoy doing together.
We need to know the value of the other person and ourselves. Neither you should do everything he says unconditionally nor should he do everything you do. He must fulfill your wishes unconditionally. Such a situation does not go further than a slave-owner relationship. Such a situation causes you to lose your Self and become more dependent than attached. That's why boundaries and values should be well determined and understood at the very beginning of the relationship
Of course, there will be unpleasantness, resentment, anger, and fights... The important thing is not to lose respect in the meantime and to act accordingly. Remember, your partner is a person who loves you and values you. We need to know that the hurtful words you say in anger will cause serious damage to your soul and therefore to your relationship.
Do not try to change the characteristics you accepted and liked before the relationship during the relationship. And do not allow the other party to try to change it. You loved and accepted each other this way, so why try to change it now? Such a situation damages the relationship and puts it in a dead end. You try to change it, it doesn't change, you persist, it persists, the issue escalates to a showdown and perhaps causes fights that will cause great damage. We must also accept that the way we accept our partner should remain the same way afterwards. Even if there is behavior that is against you, it would be best to leave it at that stage without taking it further.
Show your love, love, be loved... Thoughts such as he will be spoiled, he will not love me, my love will be too much for him, prevent you from showing your love. Of course, just as excess of everything is harmful, excess of love is also harmful. But thinking this way and trying to curb love will make both you and the other party feel bad. Do not withhold your love because if you are already sure of the other person, the love you show will not change the other person negatively.
Too much skepticism damages the relationship. Wondering and checking can be an unstoppable urge, but when it goes to extremes, it harms you and your partner. It causes feelings of insecurity to bloom.
Have fun, laugh, cry together... let your partner be your best friend. Even a very simple activity with the person you are happy with is enough to be happy and want to have fun and spend time. Laugh a lot, be happy, be happy. Nourish his soul with whatever language he understands. skin contact If he is happy with it, touch him, if he likes to hear nice sentences, say it. Caress his soul.
Make time for yourself... There is no rule that says you will always be together at all times. Let him spend time with his friends, you spend time with your friends. Don't call each other during long hours when you don't see each other, miss each other thoroughly and let even that longing have a different taste when you meet.
Respect each other's personal spaces. Let everyone have time for themselves. This keeps the relationship fresher. Longing is good. Let him miss you and you miss him too.
Respect the things he likes. Expect the same from him. There is no rule that says all your tastes and preferences will be the same. You may also enjoy different activities or pursuits. Know that you don't have to participate. Just let him or her do it. Just respect
Don't lose your child side. Don't let that child inside you die. Sometimes, grow up together and be children together.
Everything in the world has a balance. We may or may not find our own balance, but it is still up to us to strive for it. If you think you have found balance in your relationship and trust yourself and the other person, balance will also have found you. The important thing is that we know what we want. If we know what we want, we see that we are actually doing what should be done…
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