Spoiledness is entirely related to parental attitudes and arises from the parents' inconsistent approaches. Families are at the center of children's spoiled behavior. Spoiledness grows with the faulty approaches of those around the child and becomes permanent over time. If we were to explain the situation in detail: parents If you make your child feel that you are at the center of your life and only serve him/her, the child will learn over time not to care about anyone other than himself and therefore his ability to empathize will not develop. If his wishes come true when he cries, adjustment disorder will emerge over time. It is necessary to establish a strong authority relationship with the child, so that the child knows where to stand and avoid repeated mistakes. He/she must gain the awareness that there must be a price. In short, a proper reward and a proper punishment system should be applied. The approach of the parents' relatives, such as grandfathers and grandmothers, should be supportive of the child's parents. The child should always shape a single authority in his/her mind and act accordingly.
Since children who cannot control their anger learn anger from adults, as parents, you need to control your nerves and be a positive model for them. You should be careful about the violent television programs you watch at home, and when the child gets angry and acts of aggression, you should be inhibited by the deprivation method, depriving him of the activities he enjoys, and talk to him. . This method is very similar to the time-out method. For example, if he hits his friend during the game and you take him away from the game environment, it is an example of the time-out method. The child will be aggressive and aggressive during this time. In this case, you must be consistent, be patient and not give up. If the child becomes aggressive, hitting, He will show behaviors such as biting, spitting, throwing, breaking, harming himself, etc. During this time, there should never be an attitude of beating or stubbornness. If the child gets something to keep him quiet, not to cry, not to hit, this behavior will be reinforced. This situation will reinforce the negative behavior. Staying unresponsive and removing him from the environment. It extinguishes negative behavior. Remember that; Children experience outbursts of anger when they have difficulty coping with situations that create anger. This situation is more common in children who are prevented a lot and whose wishes are done. Factors that cause violence and aggression to occur should be prevented in advance. In case of anger and aggression, you should treat the child coldly, keep your distance, but not be offended. Being offended does not bring a solution and blocks communication.
Another issue. These are boundaries, rules and responsibilities. Boundaries, rules and responsibilities are necessary for children. It means that the child has the knowledge of what to do physically, emotionally and cognitively. Boundaries enable the perception of where to stand. If rules and boundaries are not determined, problems will occur in interpersonal relationships in the future. For example; These are concrete places where children know the limits, whether they can enter the personal room and when they can play with you. It gives children awareness about what they can and cannot do. However, children always try to push the limits. In this case, you need to stay where you define the limit and be consistent. Be tolerant when reminding the child of the limit. When setting limits, it should be done by giving the child the right to choose and offering options. However, care should be taken to not have rules that are too strict, and instead of punishing them, they should be deprived of the things they love and help them understand the rules better. Care should be taken when setting rules in every age group. For example: 0 -You should not be too stubborn with children in the 4-year-old group. Children should be given the task of collecting their toys from the age of 3 to 4, and the child should be allowed to do the assigned homework himself. In addition, as he gets older, his responsibilities should be increased. Evaluate their responsibilities together and make a list. And do not forget to appreciate them after each responsibility, Do not forget to thank them. Also, do not ignore giving responsibilities according to the age of the children. For example, 3-4 year old children may be asked to place the forks and spoons given to them to help set the table. They may be asked to brush their teeth and be given simple housework. In this way, you can ensure balance according to age. .
As for how to calm children down and what their attitude is towards outbursts of anger, stay away from physical and punishment. Be a model for the child, do not exhibit aggressive attitudes at home, teach the child the right behavioral patterns. � teach them. Reward their good behavior, remove them from the environment in the face of aggressive attitudes. If they do not move away, move away and maintain your calm. Do not respond to anger with anger, do not blame your child for the angry reaction, guide him/her to change his/her reaction. Do not pay special attention to children in times of anger and pay attention to the child when he/she calms down. Tantrums 4 It often ends when you get older. Remember that this is a transition period, be patient. Use the word no less, but explain things that should not be done and offer alternative options. Do not be confrontational, draw their attention elsewhere.
Children start on their own from the 18th month. They realize their awareness and act by perceiving that they are the focal point. This situation triggers children to exhibit a stubborn attitude. They actually test you by reacting negatively to everything you say and not accepting it. They try to show you how important they are and an individual. Your child is upset because of any issue. When the child becomes stubborn, keep your calm and remind him of the limits you have previously set, and make sure that this happens in a soft tone of voice, without resorting to conflict. When the child becomes moody because of stubbornness, do not show interest, do not create an environment of stubbornness. When making the child apply the rules, explain them in a positive language with justifications. Remember; it will direct the child's negative behavior. Giving is one of the most important achievements that parents achieve in life. I wish success to all our parents on this sacred path.
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