Social media is increasingly becoming one of the most important parts of people's lives. When Facebook usage alone is evaluated, we see that more than 1 billion Facebook users share an average of 90 pieces of information through their Facebook accounts every month. In addition to accessing all this information, Facebook also provides an environment for people to follow each other's activities and movements, and this includes romantic partners. Although constantly following each other in relationships and questioning where and with whom the partner is is generally perceived as negative, tracking the partner's movements on Facebook has become more socially acceptable because the existing information is shared publicly and the fact that the partner follows this is now a negative effect on the relationship. It is stated that it is no longer perceived as a trust problem. In addition to the beneficial aspects of this situation, it is actually among the topics discussed that instant and very fast access to information about the partner may have negative consequences such as jealousy. It is stated that Facebook use triggers jealousy because partners can monitor each other's Facebook movements and see their interactions with other people. Among the findings of scientific research is that Facebook jealousy is experienced more frequently in women than in men, and that women follow and question their partners' pages more. While the use of social media, especially Facebook, triggers jealousy in relationships, we see that another important variable associated with jealousy is "attachment". Whether people are securely or insecurely attached is related to the feeling of jealousy they experience in their relationships. It is among the existing findings that following a partner's movements on Facebook is more common in people with insecure attachments.
When we talk to my clients or the students I teach, I often hear that they do not find it healthy to follow relationships on social media. However, we must admit that it is necessary to discuss the positive or negative aspects of having relationships in this way on each relationship's own merits. Every relationship It is necessary to preserve its size. Yes, social media, especially Facebook, allows us to express many of our emotions, real or virtual, such as sharing photos with our lover/spouse, wanting other people to see that we are very happy, meeting someone, sometimes using it as a defense mechanism to cover our hurt parts, sometimes following our partner. When we see these posts, there are things we find ridiculous and things we comment on, but as I mentioned above, we need to look at every person and relationship, every emotion triggered through social media, in the light of the points that trigger them, in the reality of the people and relationships themselves...
For this reason, Before judging - both ourselves and others - we need to look at the dynamics at work ;)
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