Loneliness is a very heavy feeling for human beings who are accustomed to living in communities. This feeling, which you can experience even though there are physically people around you, can sometimes really occur in the absence of other people. One of the main reasons why this feeling is hard to tolerate is the emergence of your beliefs of worthlessness, inadequacy and unlovability, which come from the depths of your mind and cause you to question yourself. In fact, what makes loneliness bad is not being alone at that moment, it is the meaning you attribute to loneliness and the emotions it triggers in you. So how do you deal with these triggered emotions? The best thing here is that it is not necessary to deal with emotions. However, if people could not learn to stay and experience this emotion before for various reasons (neglect, abuse, wrong parenting attitudes, lack of skill, etc.), they try to avoid this emotion and avoid situations and people that will make them feel this emotion. These escape and avoidance behaviors delay the experience of the discomfort caused by the feeling of loneliness, and the mind continues to produce catastrophic scenarios of "loneliness" unless the person experiences the emotion. Mind, “You will always be alone.” “No one loves you.” "Look, not even a friend called." “You will die alone, even if you die, who knows how many days later they will realize that you are dead” He repeats phrases like The person in this vicious circle, while escaping from loneliness, pushes himself into situations where he will be alone with his behaviors, which in fact confirms what his mind says with his actions. While people continue this pattern, most of the time they are either unaware of it or they are aware of it, but they do not know how to deal with it. At this point, we realize that people's thought, emotion and behavior processes are formulated in a systematic framework, that is, the behaviors that they gradually avoid and avoid, the presence of disturbing thoughts that cause the behavior and the improvement of staying in emotion are shown. We work on the ess. Of course, intolerance to loneliness is not the only issue most of the time. In the story he gives, the person also talks about childhood traumas, the differences between his idealized self and his real self, and the problems he has with his family, spouse, close friends and colleagues. Sometimes we examine all these stories from a wide window, sometimes under a microscope. “We deteriorate in relationships, we heal in relationships.” The word indicates that people cannot solve some of their problems on their own, and that you can make progress as a result of a relationship with another person. The choice of where you should start and with whom you will start this long-term journey is entirely in your hands. You just have to intend to change.
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