We are together with dear Tülay Gerçek, the program producer and presenter, in the program "Everything about women". Intimate and extremely fluid moments flow like water. This time we are talking about Southeastern Anatolian women, as a native of Urfa.
To our conversation; Let's start by explaining the general characteristics of South-Eastern Anatolian Women and the differences between the past and the present?
When we think of the Southeast, beauties with dark eyebrows, dark eyes and gazelle eyes come to our mind. Of course, there are exceptions to this. Being a woman appears with different images all over the world, no matter where.
Just as there are still those who cannot experience their femininity, we also have women who do not even know what their place is.
There are such women that, , they cannot experience their femininity in the most difficult way. They live and they are our women, the women of the east, and it is very difficult to be a woman in the east....
Although women are naive by nature, they have to be strong and strong in the east. When she was young, she took care of her siblings. He works in the field. She gets married early. He may not be sent to school. Gender discrimination against girls is especially evident in rural areas, Girls cannot be exposed to the outside world, Girls cannot exercise their right to inheritance,
We can list issues such as the decision of the parents in choosing the daughters' spouse.
If technological innovations have brought change in many areas, this has somehow also reached the rural area. But this also needs to be evaluated carefully. Again, rural women's use of technology is limited. At this point, young girls from financially well-off families cannot use computers or mobile phones as they wish. There is definitely a limitation in this. We can see that positive change is more prominent in villages closer to the provinces.
I feel sad asking this question.
- When Southeastern Anatolian Women are mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is violence against women and children.
What can you tell us about this?
Women are respected even at the end of the world. can receive the worst treatment and violence. Violence committed by a husband against his wife is a common practice in society. It can be seen as a tool of power that protects patriarchal authority.
According to the results of the research conducted by the Ministry of Family and Social Policies in 2008, the rate of women who were subjected to physical violence by their husbands or intimate partners at any time in their lives is 53 percent in the North-Eastern Anatolia Region and 53 percent in the Central Anatolia Region. 50, 48 percent in the Southeastern Anatolia Region. These figures go down to 25 percent in the Western Marmara Region.
The victims of violence within the family are mostly women. A woman who is subjected to violence not only suffers from physical pain, but also loses her dignity in front of her children, and this also results in the children's psychological balance being disturbed and her doing the same things herself in the future. Those who commit violence are usually raised by children who are exposed to violence.
When a person who was subjected to violence in the past, that is, a bride, becomes a mother-in-law in the future, she can make her son do the same things. For the slightest behavior of the bride or for not giving birth to a son, she is beaten and locked in the room. He is left hungry and thirsty. He is not allowed to meet his family.
The most painful manifestation of domestic violence: Honor killings. Suicides. For men, keeping women under control is very important in determining their own honor. For this reason, honor associated with female sexuality is mostly represented through women.
It seems that the mentality of perception does not change even in young individuals. It is known that there are women who are unexplained in female suicides but are forced or forced to commit suicide, but since these cases are unconscious when they come to the hospital, the incident cannot be clarified.
Even a 16-year-old boy can impose various restrictions on his older sister. Suicide cases and violent incidents were not heard of so much in the past, but now we hear them more as a result of technology.
When we look at the psychological dimension,
- Low sense of self, privacy and related problems, personality disorder, rigid mindset regarding male and female behavior, abnormal level of jealousy.
I would like to share a pleasing development on this issue. Law on the Protection of the Family and Prevention of Violence Against Women (No. 6284) Turkish Grand National Assembly General K It was accepted on 08/03/2012, a day with a special meaning in urulu. The law aims to improve the reporting, disclosure, prevention, protection of victims and punishment processes of violence against women in our country. It has been expanded to include situations other than "civil marriage/living under the same roof/being in a close relationship" and to ensure the establishment of violence prevention and monitoring centers.
In addition; What comes to our mind are child brides who are forced to submit to customs? What do you have to tell us about this?
The patriarchal and traditional social structure has normalized and legitimized early marriages. Although this situation has changed slightly in cities, it is still considered normal in rural areas.
While her peers go to school, she gives birth to children and does the work of her older husband's house and fields. He has a child while he is still a child. The child is looking. He has no choice. Where we live, divorce, separation and starting a new life for oneself are "non-existent".
These marriages, which trap minor women in a vicious cycle of education, poverty, ignorance and addiction, also take away their sexual rights. Child brides render them unable to exercise a fundamental right that we call the right to sexual freedom, which denies all forms of sexual pressure, all forms of sexual coercion, sexual abuse and sexual harassment. It is not possible for these children to determine and realize whether to marry or not, to divorce or not, to have children or not, the number of children and at what intervals they will have them, and with whom they will do all these, within the framework of their own personal and social understanding.
The age of marriage has come before they have experienced childhood. . While her peers living in the West are in a rush to finish high school and enter university, she is married and about to become a mother. He experiences many problems, but he is not aware of any of them. He needs education. Like bread, like water, like air....
Can you tell us about the young girls, brides and mothers of our Southeastern Anatolia Region? What are the difficulties and beauties?
We cannot say that there is much change in the rural area. Women are hard laborers, farmhands, maraba women, whatever you call them... She is always there in the field, in the barn, in the kitchen at home, day and night, she is awake, standing, serving.
From a very young age, she was told "you are a girl", "girls don't laugh or talk much", she was a little mother even before she got married. What changes when you become a bride is that she has a room of her own and some new clothes... If you go to a well-off house as a bride, of course she can have her own house, but usually you live with your mother-in-law. You have to do both your spouse's work and the work given by your mother-in-law.
Mothers do not leave their husbands' orders. The only man she influences and directs is her "son".
Women are counted as they get older in the east. Since his family structure and ties are strong, we can say that he is luckier in matters such as cooperation, collaborative spirit, and experiencing pain and joy together.
What are the problems of our women who have to give birth to many children?
In the Southeast, fertility is the status guarantee of women. Birth takes place in the female body. Therefore, it is impossible to consider women's status and fertility independently of each other. In societies where male-dominated norms prevail, the reason for women's existence in society is reduced to their reproductive capacity and giving birth to sons.
Overbirth and lack of healthy nutrition pose great risks for women. When we take all these into consideration, we see that cervical cancer threatens women from the Eastern and Southeastern regions the most in our country.
In addition, among the explanations of our doctors are that children born at frequent intervals do not develop fully in the womb (babies with low birth weight), the rate of disability increases, their care becomes difficult and infant deaths increase.
Of course, multiple births wear out the woman. Difficulties experienced for the child are reflected on the mother. You will feed this child, take care of him, and take care of his education. When you are sick, you will take him to the doctor. Of course, they also had to get used to this situation. The deaths of children who cannot afford medicine for their sick child and who cannot be treated leave a deep wound in the heart of the mother.
I would also like to touch upon the loves of our Southeastern Anatolia Region. In this region, all the old folk songs were sung for our women. Good G The love of our young people who love the pomegranates of sweet girls has adorned our folk songs.
What can you tell us about love?
Falling in love is not an easy task in our region. Sometimes you pay the price of love by giving your life. If a girl falls in love with a boy, she experiences love in the deepest depths. As a fourteen-year-old little girl, you are programmed to love and serve. Anyone who looks into your eyes one day is love for him. It is not known what there is about love in the brain's repertoire. But that's how they know love and that's how they start. They console themselves with the idea that they have found someone who can love them or teach them what it means to be loved. But behold, things are not always like that. Her frustrations may start in the eyes of the first man she sees. Because her mother had told her for years that happiness begins with marriage. The first man who looks into her eyes takes away the child soul inside them.
The girl here does not distribute blue beads to every man she meets. She loses her heart to someone and now she burns with love. She is usually married not to the person she loves, but to someone she does not want, someone older than her, or the son of a relative. In one of our folk songs from the Mardin region, it says;
There will definitely be tuberculosis in those who love love around here... Even now, meeting and meeting with your boyfriend is not considered a natural situation. We also have folk songs about this. From Diyarbakır region. He says, "I loved you secretly/I didn't know about you, but I don't know." The cuisine of the southeast is very rich and the food is very delicious. What is the secret of this job?
The tradition of making food and sharing it with guests is unique to all Anatolian people. Food is a feast. Meals are generally eaten at the floor table. The meal starts with Bismillah. Not much is talked about. Distant food etc. It is extended by the person closest to the food. In particular, the guest is urged to eat more. Male and female guests used to eat separately. Now there are still people who practice this.
Food with lots of spices, tomato paste and oil. Vegetables are dried and stored for the winter. Eggplant, pepper and tomato are indispensable. Main dishes; It is made mainly from meat, bulgur and eggplant.
Lahmacun, stuffed meat
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