I don't know if there is any explanation for attributing meaning to the writing of some dates, but I think dates with the number 0 in them have a different power. Maybe I'm making such an interpretation because of the meaning that the 0 in my birth date adds to my life, or maybe it's just a childish thought, I don't know. Therefore, stepping into dates like 2000, 2010, 2020 has always excited me. The year 2020 had a different entrance into our lives not only for us but also for people in many parts of the world.
It is obvious that we are going through a period where we say that we will no longer be surprised by what we hear when we start the day. The coronavirus was something we were not unfamiliar with because it had been experienced in other countries before coming to our country, but it is true that we were very shaken after we came to our country, that is, after we experienced it. A period of approximately three months has now given us enough time to try to live with this virus. We will reframe our lives by paying attention to hygiene rules and living with masks and social/physical distance for a while longer. Cognitive flexibility and emotional balance will be our greatest resources regarding this reframing.
Cognitive flexibility; It can be described as the ability of the human brain to adapt to any complex and new situation it encounters, to use problem-solving skills and to be aware of its thoughts. This skill, which emphasizes similar points with the words psychological resilience and resilience, is among the most valuable resources we need right now.
The ability to keep emotions in balance is another important resource. If we consider a period of approximately three months in which both our physical health and psychological resilience are put to a great test, our emotions can fluctuate frequently. The emotions we feel most strongly during this period may be fear and anxiety.
When we talk about emotions, we focus on anxiety the most, especially in this process. For some reason, anxiety is like a double-edged sword to me. When it exceeds the level of anxiety that we need in dangerous situations in order to survive, it becomes a health problem in our lives. For example, our average body temperature, which should be 36.5-37 Cº, is 35 Cº. Hypothermia when it drops below ºC; When the temperature rises above 38 Cº, we pass the hyperthermia limit. In other words, what all our values such as body temperature, cholesterol and blood pressure mean for our physical health; The balance of our emotions is also important for our psychological health.
So, how will we move forward with the equation of this pandemic with many unknowns in which we think about ourselves, our family, our children and our future? What kind of future will we dream of? How will it be possible not to worry about our child's future?
At this point, understanding Maslow's hierarchy of needs well can give us a breather. Maslow states that the first basic needs of life are to meet physical needs such as sleep, food and warmth, followed by the needs for security, belonging, being valued and self-actualization. This diagram is like a summary of our lives. The more confident we are in these steps, the more we can move on to the next step. Now, no matter which level of this step we are on, we may be going through a process where we are upside down and descend to zero point, especially with Corona. And we may want to continue our way from where we left off on these steps. But right now it is important for us to focus on our priorities, such as those on the list of the first to be rescued in case of emergency. Our priority will be our physical needs (material and spiritual resources) and security. We will scan our resources and look for ways to go through these steps again, just as we once went through them. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's definitely possible. Some of us can move forward individually, some of us with support, and try to focus on the near-term future rather than the long-term future.
While trying to progress through the steps, we can continue to monitor our cognitive flexibility and emotions in order to strengthen our psychological resilience. It may be good for us to focus on the happiness, energy and touch we experience at that moment with our children. In the meantime, we can host the anxious thoughts that come to our minds and turn again to our child.
Many parents say, "We lived through it somehow, we got through it; The world is heading towards an increasingly dangerous and unmanageable place. Our children's school life, university and “What will their professional lives and marriages be like or will they be like?” We hear such anxious expressions so frequently. To reiterate, while we move forward with hope and effort, we need to take a breather for the situations we cannot control. We can focus on the closer future. For example, as normalization processes come into play, we can think about how we can spend this summer. Of course, it is very important to hope and dream for five or ten years from now, but notice when negative thoughts start to come to you as guests. Every stay has an end. If we accept our guest, listen to him for a while and meet his needs, he will leave us quietly after a while.
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